IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These pie charts illustrate the average sum of power usage in Australian
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 and emissions of the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of used
energy
Use synonyms
. Heating is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 usage in the residents
whereas
Linking Words
 water heating
is holding
Wrong verb form
holds
show examples
 the highest percentage of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
. Cooling is the least area in both of the aspects. Here, we can see heating the water
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
show examples
 about 30% of
energy
Use synonyms
 and
emit
Correct subject-verb agreement
emits
show examples
 32% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
Heating
Add an article
the Heating
show examples
 system takes 42% of
energy
Use synonyms
 but
less
Add a missing verb
is less
show examples
 responsible for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 matter is
ashtonishing
Correct your spelling
astonishing
.
In Addition
Linking Words
, refrigeration
is emitting
Wrong verb form
emits
show examples
 14% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 It consumes only 7% of
Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 in the houses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, cooling, lighting and other appliances leave more
gas
Use synonyms
 compared to their
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption. The
gas
Use synonyms
 emission rate for other appliances is 28% but the rate is 15% at the time of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption. Cooling and lighting
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 in the same category as they emit less
gas
Use synonyms
 than their power-using rate.
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words greenhouse, gas, energy with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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