Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

#majority #people #travel #world #visit #sight #places #tourism

A plethora of people travelling to the European countries to see the beautification of the world.

The tourists

Correct article usage

Tourists

show examples

are travelling to different places because of too many

tourism

facilities available now.

However

, the question is whether the benefits of the excursion are higher than the demerits or not. The following paragraphs will explain

further

. A large number of people are taking holidays to beautiful places because they want to feel relaxed and enjoy themselves with their families.

Although

tourism

offers great opportunities for emerging economies and developing countries.

Besides

this

, it creates job opportunities

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

strengthens the local infrastructure development and can help conserve the natural resources and assets of the

country

. To illustrate, in my

country

the government has provided facilities for tourists and promoted

tourism

and making money from it.

Consequently

, it generated 19.5% billion dollars in 2021 to increase the GDP rate. If the government give extra facilities for travellers

then

it would benefit the economy of the nation. One of the most notable benefits of

tourism

is its ability to promote cultural exchange and understanding. Visitors to the

country

are exposed to a rich and diverse cultural heritage, which helps to promote a greater understanding and appreciation of different cultures.

Therefore

, it is possible to exchange cultures with different people and encourage their norms.

Furthermore

tourism

agencies

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

motivatedalso

Rephrase

apply

show examples

motivates

Correct subject-verb agreement

motivate

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

travellers to visit their local sites so they give economy packages. In a nutshell, tourists are preferred to travel to stunning sceneries and feel good because it is much easier to go anywhere. In my point of view,

tourism

has more advantages rather than disadvantages because it promotes the

country

's local traditions and increases economic growth.

Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on Sat Nov 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that develop the main point.

coherence cohesion

Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a summary of your main points in your conclusion.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more effectively and accurately.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and coherence of your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

sightseeing
majority
willing
easier
benefits
outweigh
drawbacks
boost
economy
job creation
cultural exchange
preservation
heritage
environmental impact

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Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

What do you think what is the main effects of climate change? Which solutions can be useful?

Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The world of work is changing so fast that employees cannot depend on having the same job or working conditions. What are the possible causes for the rapid change, and what suggestions could be given for preparing people?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?