Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? DO you think is a positive or a negative develpment

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Some
children
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spends
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spend
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too much
time
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on their
phones
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because
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this
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these
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small gadgets give
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
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range
options
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of options
show examples
to do and these activities make them addictive. These bring lots of drawbacks that
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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their
overall
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health and future
carier
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careers
. Smartphones open
gate
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the gate
a gate
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to
different
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the different
a different
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universe
that
Correct word choice
where
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you can play
game
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games
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,
listen
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listen to
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music or
texting
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text
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with your friends at the same
time
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without
spend
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spending
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any
efford
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effort
.
This
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variety of action with less effort
make
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makes
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people
Correct word choice
addicted
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addictive
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addicted
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because our brains
not
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are not
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programmed to do these things without energy consumption in a short
time
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.
Furthermore
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, companies ,
Correct pronoun usage
that
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who
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that
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develops
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develop
show examples
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
for
phones
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,
Wrong verb form
work
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working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
with
special
Add an article
a special
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scientist to find a way
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to
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for
Change preposition
to
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influence people
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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more
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apply
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to use their application and
this
Linking Words
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
children
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more because they
Verb problem
apply
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack of from self control.
Their
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The
show examples
front brain area which is responsible for addiction is
unmature
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unmatured
immature
until
Correct pronoun usage
their tweenties
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tweenties
Correct your spelling
twenties
and
this
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weakness
increase
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increases
show examples
their
time
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spending
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spent
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on mobile devices.
Children
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who spend hours
in
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on
show examples
their
phones
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facing with
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face
show examples
negative outcomes.
Firstly
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, it reduces their
overall
Linking Words
movement during
week
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the week
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which
increase
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increases
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obesity risks and
reduce
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reduces
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their muscle density.
Also
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, when they spend more
time
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on the screen, they are taking more blue light from devices
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
their sleep quality and
this
Linking Words
alter
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alters
show examples
their brain development too.
Secondly
Linking Words
, using mobile
phones
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reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
their attention
time
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which
followed
Add a missing verb
is followed
show examples
by reduced focus
that
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the
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most crucial element for building
Correct article usage
a succesfull
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succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
career in
long
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the long
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term.
Lastly
Linking Words
, they spend
less hour
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fewer hours
show examples
with their which
cause
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causes
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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less developed social skills. In conclusion,
children
Use synonyms
have different
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
to
over use
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
smartphones and if their parents don’t monitor
children
Use synonyms
’s screen
time
Use synonyms
, they will face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
serious issues.
Submitted by airbender on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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