Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flight, transport and dirty water. Governments should impose extra taxes on flights or accommodation to restrict today`s tourism industry.

Nowadays,
tourism
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the tourism
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industry is expanding each
year
. And even small towns have every comfort for visiting
this
place.
That is
to say that more
people
are exploring every region of the globe, and air pollution and other environmental effects
rise
Verb problem
are
show examples
up because of flights and transportation. Personally, I tend to think that governments should
don’t
Verb problem
not
show examples
tax more on the
travel
industry to reduce the negative consequences of more travelling.
Firstly
, it is well known that
people
travel
for relaxing and reducing negative emotions that they have at work. And most
people
travel
one
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
or twice a
year
when they have their vacation. What I mean here is that
,
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apply
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it is not acceptable that they have to pay more just because of their trips
while
they are travelling only a few times per
year
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
my mum only travels to
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
country during Christmas,
also
she works the whole
year
dedicatedly. That's why we should not consider taxing
more on
Rephrase
apply
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the
tourism
industry as travelling is a reward for some
people
.
In addition
, we can say that
tourism
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
the big
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role in countries economy.
For instance
, Kazakhstan’s economy relies on
tourism
around 17 per cent, which means
travel
is one of the main reasons for its economic growth. In my opinion, what should governments do is
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
find alternative ways to tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution rather than taxing
extra
Correct pronoun usage
it extra
show examples
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task response
The introduction does not clearly present the writer's position on the topic. It is important to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement before going into further discussion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good. Each paragraph presents a clear idea and supports it with relevant examples. However, there could be stronger connections between the paragraphs to improve the overall coherence and flow of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including some advanced words and phrases. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved for more precise and accurate expression of ideas.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good variety of sentence structures and overall grammatical accuracy. However, there are some minor errors in verb tense consistency and punctuation that could be corrected to further enhance the writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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