We are becoming increasingly dependent on cumputers they are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes.what things will they be used in the future? it this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Nowadays,
computers
play a major role in almost every aspects
of our lives, and Change to a singular noun
aspect
this
seems to be a progressive pattern. In my opinion, in the future many jobs will be replaced by computers
, and I think of it as a positive achievement with lots of benefits.
It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
computers
have already replaced many jobs, such
as accounting and data analysing
in Replace the word
analysis
stock
market. I believe Add an article
the stock
this
is not the peak of computer advancements, and in the future, technology and especially artificial intelligence will substitute careers like teaching. For example
, there is an ai-based
program called Chat-GPT that has access to almost every data available online, and you can simply ask any questions, and the Chat-GPT will have an answer ready for you. Correct your spelling
AI-based
Moreover
, computers
can even have a huge impact on the movie industry. For example
, scientists can remake or upload an actor's face and voice using computers
, and produce movies even after their death.
I think benefits
of these advancements in computer science, and its integration with human life outweigh the drawbacks. Because Correct article usage
the benefits
computers
are way more accurate at calculations and they perform tasks better and more efficient
, Change the word
efficiently
hence
, they're less likely to make mistakes. Machines and robots, which are products of computer science progression, reduce men's workload and
make hard tasks a lot easier, and Correct word choice
apply
also
reduce workplace accidents and casualties. In addition
, a computer-based workforce is cheaper to run and the extra money can be spent on charity and social services.
In conclusion, I personally believe with technology
enhancements, Replace the word
technological
computers
will take over many jobs in the future and I think this
should be considered a good thing due to
benefits
that they bring us.Correct article usage
the benefits
Submitted by mohsen.pn1998 on
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task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, discussing both the future uses of computers and your opinion on their benefits. Well done!
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally sound, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, make sure to use appropriate transition words and phrases to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is good, but try to incorporate more advanced and varied vocabulary to enhance your essay. Additionally, consider the use of specific and precise language to convey your ideas.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. However, strive for more complex sentence structures and varied sentence beginnings to showcase a wider range of grammatical structures.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...