We are becoming increasingly dependent on cumputers they are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes.what things will they be used in the future? it this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

#cumputers #business #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #future #dependence #computers

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

computers

Use synonyms

play a major role in almost every

aspects

Change to a singular noun

aspect

show examples

of our lives, and

this

Linking Words

seems to be a progressive pattern. In my opinion, in the future many jobs will be replaced by

computers

Use synonyms

, and I think of it as a positive achievement with lots of benefits.

It is clear that

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

computers

Use synonyms

have already replaced many jobs,

such

Linking Words

as accounting and data

analysing

Replace the word

analysis

show examples

stock

Add an article

the stock

show examples

market. I believe

this

Linking Words

is not the peak of computer advancements, and in the future, technology and especially artificial intelligence will substitute careers like teaching.

For example

Linking Words

, there is an

ai-based

Correct your spelling

AI-based

show examples

program called Chat-GPT that has access to almost every data available online, and you can simply ask any questions, and the Chat-GPT will have an answer ready for you.

Moreover

Linking Words

computers

Use synonyms

can even have a huge impact on the movie industry.

For example

Linking Words

, scientists can remake or upload an actor's face and voice using

computers

Use synonyms

, and produce movies even after their death. I think

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

of these advancements in computer science, and its integration with human life outweigh the drawbacks. Because

computers

Use synonyms

are way more accurate at calculations and they perform tasks better and more

efficient

Change the word

efficiently

show examples

hence

Linking Words

, they're less likely to make mistakes. Machines and robots, which are products of computer science progression, reduce men's workload

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

make hard tasks a lot easier, and

also

Linking Words

reduce workplace accidents and casualties.

In addition

Linking Words

, a computer-based workforce is cheaper to run and the extra money can be spent on charity and social services. In conclusion, I personally believe with

technology

Replace the word

technological

show examples

enhancements,

computers

Use synonyms

will take over many jobs in the future and I think

this

Linking Words

should be considered a good thing

due to

Linking Words

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

that they bring us.

Submitted by mohsen.pn1998 on Sat Nov 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your essay provides a clear response to the task, discussing both the future uses of computers and your opinion on their benefits. Well done!

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is generally sound, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, make sure to use appropriate transition words and phrases to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is good, but try to incorporate more advanced and varied vocabulary to enhance your essay. Additionally, consider the use of specific and precise language to convey your ideas.

grammatical range

Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. However, strive for more complex sentence structures and varied sentence beginnings to showcase a wider range of grammatical structures.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In contemporary society, many people are moving towards the trend of utilizing natural remedies and medications that are not prescribed by general peractitioners. However, I adhere to the belief that these attemps could lead to harmful results without the consult of doctors.
5.5
band
Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after themselves.
Taking care of elder people has led to neglecting other chores and stress. These problems are attributable to the lack of time and the gap of generation but can be addressed by a conducive management of schedule and being identified with their circumstances.
6.5
band
Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, the population witnesses a significant increase in quantity of developed countries all over the world. Despite this fact, there are numerous countries where people experience a poor quality of their lives. Thus, certain rich countries are available to provide special support to the countries where people are suffering from rising poverty. In that case, I believe that the countries whose economic condition is not stable, need not only financial support , but also help in an alternative way, such as agriculture and implementation of foreign medicine.
6.5
band
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?
There is an endless debate about the income of celebrities.Some individuals believe that society supports too much to the welfare of that class of people.This is my contention that the money that entertainers receive is deserved for their efforts and the contribution they have given to the public.
6
band
the pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features
The pictures illustrate the fifteen steps involved in making tomato ketchup in a consecutive manner, from picking the tomatoes to enjoying your food with some tasty tomato ketchup.

We are becoming increasingly dependent on cumputers they are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes.what things will they be used in the future? it this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after themselves.

Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

the pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features