IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You recently started commuting to work by bicycle and discovered that there is a problem with bicycle parking near the building where you work. Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter, •explain the reason for using a bicycle to commute • mention what problems you have encountered with parking • what you recommend to solve the problems

#work #bicycle #manager #•explain #reason
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that there is a parking issue in our building as I started to commute
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 bicycle
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
 week and there is no empty space to park it. I will explain the condition by providing all the information which I noticed.
Firstly
, it is beneficial for me to travel to work by bicycle as it is a good way to keep the body in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perfect shape.
Addition to
Change preposition
In addition
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, it saves my time because there is a huge traffic rush in the morning hours and it
also
 benefits
economically
Correct pronoun usage
me economically
show examples
.
Therefore
, I
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
 to commute by cycle.
Moreover
, our building has less space for vehicles but there is a problem that workers even parking their cars
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the area which is assigned to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cycles or motorcycles. The slots available for bicycles are already limited and some staff members make it worse by parking their cars over there. Now, I cannot ask you to expand the parking zone
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
.
However
, I request you to make
intervention
Correct article usage
an intervention
show examples
 so that employees park their vehicles
according to
 the
allocate
Change the form of the verb
allocated
show examples
 zones. I hope you consider
this
 in mind and take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
quick action on
this
. Yours Sincerely, LS
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific details and examples about the parking issue and its impact.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear flow and logical organization of ideas throughout the letter.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: