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The growing numbers of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#numbers #people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum
In the modern world, the percentage of people who
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 overweight is increasing ,and
this
 is a big problem for
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
helath
Correct your spelling
health
 system. Many people suggest that the best way to solve
this
 issue is
students
Change preposition
for students
show examples
 should
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
healthcare
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 in the school curriculum. I surely agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
 children should
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 about physical in
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school. So,
this
 essay will write about the benefits of learning physical education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will give reasons.
To begin
 with,
Secondly
,
To sum up
,
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that tie back to the main thesis. Use transition words and phrases to establish logical connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and provides a thesis statement. Also, provide a conclusion that sums up the main points and restates the thesis.
lexical resource
Expand on the main points by providing specific examples and evidence. Use a variety of vocabulary to express ideas accurately and precisely.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and word order. Vary sentence lengths and use complex sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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