The growing numbers of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, the percentage of people who
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
overweight is increasing ,and
this
is a big problem for
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
helath
Correct your spelling
health
system. Many people suggest that the best way to solve
this
issue is
students
Change preposition
for students
show examples
should
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
healthcare
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
in the school curriculum. I surely agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
children should
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
about physical in
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school. So,
this
essay will write about the benefits of learning physical education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will give reasons.
To begin
with,
Secondly
,
To sum up
,
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
Expand on the main points by providing specific examples and evidence. Use a variety of vocabulary to express ideas accurately and precisely.
grammatical range
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • healthcare system
  • strain
  • physical education
  • school curriculum
  • childhood obesity
  • health issues
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • preventative measures
  • mental health
  • overall wellness
  • controlled environment
  • participation
  • nutritional education
  • community health initiatives
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