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Band 4

Tourists cause more harm than good to local people and the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

#tourists #harm #people #environment
Tourism is an important field in all countries, especially in some sea countries
such
 as Singapore,
New
Correct word choice
and New
show examples
 Zealand because of the lack of sources.
However
, in my point of view, I think tourists cause more negative effects than good to local people and the environment because of the wastes generated from
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
active
Replace the word
activities
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 and the
enhancing
Replace the word
enhancement
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 to the infrastructures to conform
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
.
Firstly
, parallel to the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
tousrism
Correct your spelling
tourism
 is the growing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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such
 as
nilon
Correct your spelling
nylon
 bags,
containers
Correct word choice
and containers
show examples
, which can lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
huge damage
on
Change preposition
to
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 the
eco-system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
show examples
.
For example
, when
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
,
traverlers
Correct your spelling
travellers
 tend to try local foods
while
 they are on the
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 way,
therefore
,
nilon
Correct your spelling
nylon
 bags and containers are necessary and
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for them. At the same time, these wastes are very hard to recycle and take a long time to delve
.
Change preposition
into.
show examples
Hence
, the local residents must face
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 issue and it can have negative effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 human health.
Secondly
, the development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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 industry
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
faciliating
Correct your spelling
facilitating
 the infrastructure.
For instance
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 always tries to construct a lot of
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 locations or
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 roads to attract tourists. Meanwhile,
this
 development can lead to
an adverse issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
adverse issues
an adverse issue
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the local's life.
For example
, the authorities always tend to destroy some mountains before some planned constructions,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means wild habitats
deleted
Add a missing verb
are deleted
show examples
,
this
 can lead to a number of animals
loss
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 their houses or some animals going to
distinc
Correct your spelling
distinct
. In conclusion, in my opinion, tourists cause more harm than good to local people and the environment. We might not coped with the problem right now,
however
, in the future we definitely must resolve big consequences.
Therefore
, each
idividual
Correct your spelling
individual
 should raise our mind to reduce our future damages as soon as possible.
Submitted by huong.bx on

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task response
Ensure that you directly address the topic by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in a more logical and cohesive manner.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more specific and precise terms.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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