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Band 2

In the future people may not long be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not to be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shops #cash #payments #card #phones
With the evolution of technology .The payment will be more easily by using
card
Correct article usage
a card
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
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 mobile phones .In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss
this
 perspective My point of view,
this
 fast-paced society, which inherited
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
speed and fasting ,
this
 technology of payment will be an excellent way in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 few years. It's more safe rather on having cash in your pocket .
Additionally
,by mobile phone could
tracking
Wrong verb form
track
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 your budget
Conversely
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old people
such
our
Change preposition
as our
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 parents and
rgrandparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
 would prefer old fashion method
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using cash
instead
 of
card
Correct article usage
a card
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 and phone .
Whom
Change the pronoun
Who
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 may
be not believe
Change the verb form
not believe
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of
Change preposition
apply
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this
 expansion machinery
.
Change the punctuation
?
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also
Add a comma
also,
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 security and privacy of data would be
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 Specific reasons.
For instance
; there will be a fake website as soon as you enter your data on their website for payment, they will
going
Change the verb form
go
be going
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 to fraud and
scams
Correct subject-verb agreement
scam
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you . In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is undeniable that both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
methods have benefits and drawbacks
Submitted by enasawad68 on

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task response
Provide a more balanced and detailed discussion of the given topic. Present arguments for both sides and reach a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay by using clear topic sentences and logical paragraph development.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to enhance your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to ensure more accurate and varied use of language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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