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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the spending of a school in the UK from 1981 to 2001.

The pie charts below show the spending of a school in the UK from 1981 to 2001.
#show #school #uk
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The pie graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of spending years at school from 1981 to 2001
Overall
Linking Words
, there are five
of
Change preposition
apply
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area schools spending the money on
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 instance, insurance , Salaries ,decoration,Resources,
income
Correct word choice
and income
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 for
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 workers. The
most
Change the adjective
apply
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highest cost for the
teachers
Change to a genitive case
teacher's
teachers'
show examples
 salaries in all the three years, for insurance it was the lowest
persentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 in the 3 years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Insurance
hitting
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
 a
low-point
Correct your spelling
low point
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 in 1981 but slowly increased year after year to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8% in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 year.
Move
Correct article usage
The move
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 to salaries of teachers
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 39
perecent
Correct your spelling
per cent
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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 to 50% but
at the end
Linking Words
be
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 45%. Furniture
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had
unstable
Correct article usage
an unstable
show examples
 number
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 with 15% between 1981 and 2001. For resources
spends
Wrong verb form
spending
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 varied cost
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 15% to grew to 5% more in 1991
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 quickly declined to 9% in 2001.
Others
Correct quantifier usage
Other
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 department
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
spends
Wrong verb form
spending
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 was
downword
Correct your spelling
downward
 trend with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 number
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 29% in 1981 to the lowest
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 15%
Submitted by rawan.13mm on

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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