It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?

People
take
risks
in different topics
such
as
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
and private lives and
this
is important for their
livesfe
Correct your spelling
lives
. I think taking
risks
can open different chapters in
people
’s lives
andlivesfe
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and it has far more advantages than living in stable conditions. High
risks
bring high revenue and most of the time
people
even can not imagine what
life
will bring after
takinge
Correct your spelling
taking
risks
.
For instance
, they can go abroad
tofor
Correct your spelling
to
a construct new
life
or quit their job to launch a new business. In both ways,
indiuviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
can earn more money, learn important skills, and gain financial freedom. Without taking
risks
, achieving those benefits can take a long time but after getting older,
people
will face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
serious health problems
instead
of spending that money
tofor
Correct your spelling
to
live a good
life
.
Also
from their personal perspective,
people
only
becomea
Correct your spelling
become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mature after
facinge
Correct your spelling
facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hard conditions and risky environments create those environments to improve
people
’s self-journey.
However
, taking
risks
can be quite challenging.
People
will push their boundaries and they will have a hard
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
aeffect
Correct your spelling
affects
people
’s mental
healths
Fix the agreement mistake
health
show examples
such
as living with anxiety and stress. But, these problems can easily be solved with regular exercise or meditation.
In addition
to that, if a person is responsible for looking after their children and earning money for them, it can add more pressure and
aeffect
Correct your spelling
affect
effect
affects
their personal relations with family members, but when they have good communication with family members, they can easily manage the situation. In conclusion, from my perspective, it is the only way to move forward in
life
possible
towith
Correct your spelling
with
takeing
Correct your spelling
taking
high
risks
and it brings lots of benefits.
Moreover
, issues that come with
risks
can easily be solved with different approaches.
Submitted by airbender on

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Task Response
Your essay addresses the topic of taking risks and weighs the advantages against the disadvantages. However, you didn't clearly state your stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Make sure to clearly express your opinion on the matter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Begin your essay by introducing the topic and your position, and end it by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion. Additionally, some of your supporting points could be further developed and connected to each other to improve the overall coherence of your essay.
Lexical Resource
Your essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement. Try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your expression and convey your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range
Your essay shows a good control of grammar with only a few errors. However, you could further enhance your grammatical range by using more complex sentence structures and a wider range of grammatical features.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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