It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?
People
take risks
in different topics such
as proffessional
and private lives and Correct your spelling
professional
this
is important for their livesfe
. I think taking Correct your spelling
lives
risks
can open different chapters in people
’s lives andlivesfe
and it has far more advantages than living in stable conditions.
High Correct word choice
apply
risks
bring high revenue and most of the time people
even can not imagine what life
will bring after takinge
Correct your spelling
taking
risks
. For instance
, they can go abroad tofor
a construct new Correct your spelling
to
life
or quit their job to launch a new business. In both ways, indiuviduals
can earn more money, learn important skills, and gain financial freedom. Without taking Correct your spelling
individuals
risks
, achieving those benefits can take a long time but after getting older, people
will face with
serious health problems Change preposition
apply
instead
of spending that money tofor
live a good Correct your spelling
to
life
. Also
from their personal perspective, people
only becomea
Correct your spelling
become
a
mature after Correct article usage
apply
facinge
Correct your spelling
facing
with
hard conditions and risky environments create those environments to improve Change preposition
apply
people
’s self-journey.
However
, taking risks
can be quite challenging. People
will push their boundaries and they will have a hard times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
that
Correct word choice
which
aeffect
Correct your spelling
affects
people
’s mental healths
Fix the agreement mistake
health
such
as living with anxiety and stress. But, these problems can easily be solved with regular exercise or meditation. In addition
to that, if a person is responsible for looking after their children and earning money for them, it can add more pressure and aeffect
their personal relations with family members, but when they have good communication with family members, they can easily manage the situation.
In conclusion, from my perspective, it is the only way to move forward in Correct your spelling
affect
effect
affects
life
possible towith
Correct your spelling
with
takeing
high Correct your spelling
taking
risks
and it brings lots of benefits. Moreover
, issues that come with risks
can easily be solved with different approaches.Submitted by airbender on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Your essay addresses the topic of taking risks and weighs the advantages against the disadvantages. However, you didn't clearly state your stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Make sure to clearly express your opinion on the matter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Begin your essay by introducing the topic and your position, and end it by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion. Additionally, some of your supporting points could be further developed and connected to each other to improve the overall coherence of your essay.
Lexical Resource
Your essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement. Try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your expression and convey your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range
Your essay shows a good control of grammar with only a few errors. However, you could further enhance your grammatical range by using more complex sentence structures and a wider range of grammatical features.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!