IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qulification for success work?

#employers #value #people #skills #qualifications #qulification #success #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
companies
 are focusing on recruiting candidates with decent social competencies apart from acceptable qualifications. I personally agree that interpersonal
skills
 are just as pivotal for workers' success as technical credentials for their benefits to keep the conduciveness of the office and help employers broaden networks through them. Viewed from an internal perspective, social
skills
 are essential to help employees maintain their relationships with fellow colleagues and eventually improve the environment of the workplace.
For instance
, many horizontal problems in several offices are the result of bad communication that leads to misunderstandings between workmates. With great social abilities, each individual can provide clarity within their actions and minimize miscommunication.
In addition
, many creative activities
such
 as fun games and gatherings that make the office circumstances more lively are the results of these qualities.
On the other hand
, exceptional interpersonal competencies are proven beneficial for
companies
' networking experiences, especially in positions requiring people to sell products or services directly.
This
 can be seen in a group of extrovert salesforces who excel in closing their targets by building relationships with prospective clients.
Consequently
, employers will consider communal qualities as one of the critical
skills
 of individuals who will be included on their team. In
summing up
Wrong verb form
sum
show examples
, I support the idea of considering acceptable social competence alongside other qualifications for its merits to the
companies
 both internally and externally. A team of individuals with great social
skills
 will create a convenient working environment and elevate
companies
' networks.
Submitted by dandelionandburdock on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay provides a complete and comprehensive response to the prompt. You discuss the benefits of social skills both internally and externally, and you present relevant examples to support your points. Well done!
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure overall. You introduce your main argument in the introduction, support it with examples in the body paragraphs, and summarize your points in the conclusion. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion by using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is effective and appropriate for the task. You employ a variety of vocabulary to express your ideas. Well done!
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures. Your sentences are generally accurate, and you use a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, be mindful of subject-verb agreement and punctuation mistakes.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: