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Band 4.5

Cyclists and car drivers the same road cause some problems. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

#cyclists #car #drivers #road
Using the same line on the
road
 is one of the most important issues facing us today.
This
 essay will first indicate that the major problem brought on by
this
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
 is
accidents
 and
traffic
jams
 and it will
then
 make the case that the best solutions involve reducing the rate of
this
. Bikes and cars being on the same
road
 contribute to many
accidents
 which
killed
Wrong verb form
kill
show examples
 lots of people each year and
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time
also
 cause
traffic
jams
.
This
 statement
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to the rate of danger on streets that citizens have to
facing
Change the verb
face
show examples
 nowadays.
Additionally
,
accidents
 and
traffic
jams
 on streets have a bad
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on people who live in
nearly
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 areas about the noisy. Taking Ho Chi Minh City
as a result
 of
this
 trouble, there are
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
traffic
accidents
happends
Correct your spelling
happen
happens
 daily which could
killed
Change the verb form
kill
show examples
 and have a negative effect on inhabitants. Building
fences
 to separate and making hour division are two potential solutions to these issues.
Fences
 will probably increase the awareness of drivers and bikers by using the main
road
 for each transportation.
Moreover
,
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 up with the solution of hour division
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to control the amount of people using
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 roads like less
traffic
jams
 as it used to be.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 area which
is have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 lots of drivers and bikers on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
. They have used
fences
 to separate lines for each transportation to use. Taking everything into consideration using the same
road
 for all transportation is the challenge that we face, it can lead to heavy consequences.
However
,
this
 problem could be solved by
apply
Change the verb form
applying
show examples
 some
fences
 like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 done.

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coherence cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion further to provide a clear overview of the essay's content.
task achievement
You have provided examples to support your ideas, but try to provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more precise and specific terms related to the topic.
grammatical range
Improve your sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity and coherence of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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