Write about the following topic. Should students be allowed to choose which classes they take, or should they be required to take the same classes as everyone else? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each approach to education? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

There is a discussion about whether
students
should be able to choose their own lectures or they should follow a common curriculum as same as everyone else. The main benefits of individualised schedules are they can prioritise
lessons
, and select them
due to
their desired careers;
however
, the key drawbacks are they might have lacking areas and limited career
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
after
graduation
without taking certain lectures. The
students
who select their
lessons
and create their own schedules rather than follow a common program will be able to take relatively important
lessons
for their
desirements
Replace the word
desires
show examples
. They can prioritise
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
lessons
and learn more deeply
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
these
subjects
.
Furthermore
, they could arrange their selections
due to
their ideal careers and discard unrelated
subjects
about their future occupations.
For example
, most engineering major candidates select analytical
subjects
such
as Mathematics and Physics to improve their calculation and problem-solving skills before starting university
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.
However
,
students
differentiate
Correct pronoun usage
who differentiate
show examples
their curriculum without following the same classes as everyone else
are demonstrating
Wrong verb form
demonstrate
show examples
lacking areas after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduation
.
Imbalance
Add an article
The imbalance
An imbalance
show examples
between their social skills or awareness of social
subjects
and science
subjects
could be seen in these graduates.
Moreover
, their career opportunity will be limited after discarding some
subjects
to boost
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
fields. Eligibility for certain majors could be a problem for
students
after
graduation
from high school. To illustrate
this
, in France, engineering majors only accept
students
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
took science and maths
subjects
in their high school transcripts. Other candidates are not eligible to apply
these
Change preposition
to these
show examples
programs at all. In conclusion,
students
who select their own
lessons
in their
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
have a chance to prioritise their lectures
due to
their needs and desired careers.
Conversely
, these people can experience lacking areas after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduation
and even they might not be eligible to apply
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
majors.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic and provides an overview of the main points to be discussed.
task response
The essay lacks a clear conclusion summarizing the key points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with appropriate topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
Add transitional phrases to improve the coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of the essay.
grammatical range
Increase the complexity and variety of sentence structures to improve the grammatical range.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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