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Band 7.5

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents
The topic of organizing free
time
activities
 for
children
 has sparked debate, with some arguing that parents should be responsible for planning
such
activities
,
while
 others believe that
children
 should have the
freedom
 to choose how they spend their leisure
time
.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives. Proponents of parental involvement argue that parents should take an active role in organizing free
time
activities
 for their
children
. For that, the parents must have consideration when setting up their
children
's
activities
, so it would be a more cautious way for their child. Some of the popular
activities
 are enrolling their
children
 on sports, art classes, or educational programs. Actually, these
activities
 can promote skill development and social interaction.
Additionally
, it can ensure that their kids engage in constructive and enriching experiences during their free
time
.
On the other hand
, advocates for encouraging free choice contend that
children
 should have the
freedom
 to decide how they spend their
time
. Giving
freedom
 can foster autonomy and self-reliance, enabling
children
 to explore their interests and passions independently. To illustrate, research shows that a kid would know their interest faster if they had the
freedom
 to explore things they are curious about, like to trust their gut and follow their curiosity, especially when they are still in primary school. In conclusion, parental involvement in organizing
activities
 can offer essential learning experiences and structure,
while
 promoting free choice granting
children
 autonomy and fostering self-discovery. Striking a balance between these approaches allows
children
 to enjoy a well-rounded and fulfilling free
time
 experience, benefiting their
overall
 development and well-being.
Submitted by saynah_ on

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task response
Good job in addressing both perspectives of the topic. You provided a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and the main points are well-supported.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate and varied. Well done!
grammatical range
Overall, your grammar is accurate, but there are a few errors that can be improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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