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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the expenditure on
books
Use synonyms
 in four different countries
Germany
Use synonyms
,
France
Use synonyms
, Italy and
Austria
Use synonyms
 from 1995 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Germany
Use synonyms
 was the nation where the spending on
books
Use synonyms
 was highest,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of money paid for
books
Use synonyms
 in
Austria
Use synonyms
 was lowest during the period shown. In 1995, around 80
million
Use synonyms
USD
Use synonyms
 were paid for
books
Use synonyms
 by readers in
Germany
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. In the same year, the amount of money used to pay for
books
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
, Italy,
Use synonyms
Austria
Correct word choice
and Austria
show examples
 were around 53
million
Use synonyms
, 50
million
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 and 30
million
Use synonyms
USD
Use synonyms
 respectively. One year later, the consumption of
books
Use synonyms
 in Italy increased considerably and almost caught up with
France
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. In 2003, there was an enormous increase in book consumption in
Austria
Use synonyms
 around 60
million
Use synonyms
USD
Use synonyms
 and
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Italy with only 59
million
Use synonyms
USD
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the amount of money that was used in
Germany
Use synonyms
 dropped minimally to 84
million
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
lower than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
 years, the consumption of
books
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 rose gradually
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 8 years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, germany, france, austria, million, usd with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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