IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart above illustrates the levels of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 that
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 a country in the period from 1988 to 2008.
This
Linking Words
 country is Ireland.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
 rate was about 17% in 1988, decreased
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 about 5% in 2000, achieving about 10% in 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 leaving
Iralnd
Correct your spelling
Ireland
 started at 40,000 in 1998, increased to almost 70,000 in 1990,
then
Linking Words
 depicted a
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 and after reached a plateau from
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
 to 2004, when there was a new
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
, achieved 45,000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2008. It is possible to identify a correlation between
unemployment
Use synonyms
 and migration. Generally, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment
Use synonyms
 falls, the
number
Use synonyms
 of Irish
people
Use synonyms
 leaving the country falls
also
Linking Words
. When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment
Use synonyms
 grows, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 leaving Ireland is bigger. Analyzing these 20 years, from 1988 to 2008, it is possible to affirm that the amount of emigrants from Ireland
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 not changed a lot,
however
Linking Words
, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rate presented an improvement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, number, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "falls" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: