In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sport or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

INowadays
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Nowadays
in
this
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fast-paced
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fast paced
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fast-paced
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society and crowded schedule of
individual
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individuals
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hiring a personal fitness
trainer
instead
of doing exercise
on
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apply
show examples
themselves in
this
essay I will highlight of main causes of
this
perspective and it is
impact
impact
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apply
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as I mentioned before , The ground is
schedule
Wrong verb form
scheduled
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a long work time
work time
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apply
show examples
change people to doing exercise classes at home passport Mandarina by
sport
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sports
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man
trainer
rather than going to
gym
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the gym
show examples
Furthermore
for
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apply
show examples
this
perspective is security purpose
for instance
some
of
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apply
show examples
businessman
an
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and
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influencer
hiring
Wrong verb form
hire
show examples
a bodyguard
for
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to
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protect
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
Correct your spelling
personally
personallyAre
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personally
there’s valuable items
such
as home houses jewelries and even their families
when
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
other hand
this
perspective has a positive
impact
on the
trainer
which increase his salary anger is more opportunity for jobs the sport classes and gyms Get a negative
impact
because of reduce the members who attended it Anything conclusion in conclusion any person
have
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has
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a specific purpose of attending sports classes for hiring
fitness
Correct article usage
a fitness
show examples
trainer
but not forget that each of them
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
positive and negative development What are the reasons for
this
? Is
this
a positive or a negative development?
Submitted by enasawad68 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
You need to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. Try to provide concrete examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay does not fully address the prompt. Make sure to discuss both the reasons for hiring a personal fitness trainer and whether it is a positive or negative development.
lexical resource
Your essay lacks a range of vocabulary and uses repetitive language. Try to use a variety of words and phrases to make your writing more interesting and sophisticated.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors in your essay, including incorrect sentence structures and verb tense inconsistencies. Proofread your essay carefully to correct these errors.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fitness
  • Health
  • Personalized
  • Effective
  • Workout routines
  • Motivation
  • Guidance
  • Busy schedules
  • Limited time
  • One-on-one training
  • Qualified
  • Experienced
  • Overall well-being
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