In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In contemporary times,
as a consequence
of technology
advancement. A highly controversial topic revolves around Replace the word
technological
a
increasingly significant number of Change the article
an
products
for whitening skin
has became
popular item whether some Wrong verb form
that have become
poeple
does not focus on health and society which can be their Correct your spelling
people
problem
in the futher
. Correct your spelling
future
further
This
essay will explain the extent of my agreement with this
apporach
and offer my own Correct your spelling
approach
preascpetive
Correct your spelling
preceptive
for
Change preposition
on
this
topic.
It is undeniable evidence that some
Change preposition
in some
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
which
white people have a meaning to a common feeling in Correct pronoun usage
apply
positive
way. Change the article
a positive
For example
, the
Asia cultures have a Correct article usage
apply
problem
in soceity
, having Correct your spelling
society
call
beauty Correct your spelling
a
standar
so that people in that country have to take care Correct your spelling
standard
standards
their
physical body and personality to get a golden Change preposition
of their
oppartunity
for working leads to whitening Correct your spelling
opportunity
products
has
Wrong verb form
having
rised
in Correct your spelling
risen
rise
raised
demand
of markets.
Correct article usage
the demand
On the other hand
, whitening products
can be seen as negative. For instance
, there have
many Verb problem
are
document
to explain the Change to a plural noun
documents
drawback
of chemical whitening Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
products
which can impact on
their health. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, the whitening product can ruin the protection of skin
can
make Correct word choice
and can
thier
Correct your spelling
their
skin
to be easy sensertive
Correct your spelling
sensitive
with
the sun and light which is Change preposition
to
root
cause Add an article
the root
a root
for
Change preposition
of
skin
cancer.
In conclusion, whitening products
have drawbacks outweigh
Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
benefits
and it is Correct article usage
the benefits
conected
to cultures, health Correct your spelling
connected
problem
, and publicty
thinking. Though it is important to society should have campian to publicity can more aware Correct your spelling
public
to
using it and give Change preposition
of
knowleadge
for a common has known a Correct your spelling
knowledge
problem
of beatuty standar
can be a huge issue Correct your spelling
standard
in
globally.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by chaoweikevin on
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task response
The essay does not fully address all aspects of the task. It lacks a clear argument and fails to provide a balanced discussion of the reasons for using skin whitening products and their effects on health and society.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks overall coherence and cohesion. The logical structure of the essay is unclear and there is a lack of connection between ideas. The introduction and conclusion are weak and do not effectively summarize the main points.
lexical resource
There is a limited range of vocabulary used in the essay. Some sentences are repetitive and lack variety. Consider using more diverse and appropriate vocabulary to express ideas.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a basic control of grammar, but there are several errors throughout the text. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.