In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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In several countries, ordinary people crave to buy their own
house
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instead
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of leasing a flat. There are some reasons for the increasing desire for
house
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possession that will be discussed in
this
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essay. In my point of view,
this
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is a positive situation for the citizens to buy a home rather than rent one. It is believable why citizens in some nations want to buy accommodation rather than rent one. Many people think the houses which they buy are more materialistic. They think those who cannot afford to buy a flat have to resort to renting a
house
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for themselves.
Additionally
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, owning a
house
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brings a sense of security. If leasing a
house
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, the landlord won’t worry about paying the renting fee during the financial collapse.
Thirdly
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, I think buying a flat can be a lucrative investment because we can use the remaining money after buying the
house
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to invest in other kinds of stuff like education, food, entertainment… In conclusion, I attribute the desire to buy a flat rather than renting a
house
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for long-term investment or a wish for stable living conditions.
However
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, I suppose that
this
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trend is more positive than negative
due to
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its big investment.
Submitted by kimhoa01679396246 on

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task response
Your essay partially addresses the task, but it lacks a clear and comprehensive discussion of the reasons why owning a home is important. Make sure to provide more specific details and examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is somewhat unclear. Ensure that your ideas are properly linked and organized to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary and lexical resources is satisfactory, but there is room for improvement. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and incorporating more specific and precise terms to enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your essay.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout your essay. Take note of your sentence structure and grammar usage to ensure a more accurate and coherent expression of your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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