IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that social netwroking sites have a great negative affect on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #sites #individuals #society
People
 have become conscious
about
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of
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 the damaging
affect
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effects
show examples
 of Social networking sites on both
the
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apply
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individuals and
the
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apply
show examples
society
 as a whole. In my perspective, I completely agree with the above statement, I believe the negative side of social media can not be overlooked, It has made
individual
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individuals
show examples
 alien to reality, and more often than not makes them doubt their position in
the
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apply
show examples
society
. Nowadays, all of us lead two social lives, one of which is Virtual and the other Real. It is the very nature or inherent behaviour of humans to interact with other humans in
oder
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order
 to survive.
However
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However,
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 the problem
rises
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arises
show examples
,
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apply
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 when we deep dive into our Virtual life but leave our real one behind. The consequence of
this
 is that creates a dissonance in our life, we
loose
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lose
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 our natural balance, we
foresake
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forsake
 our environment and the setting and have no knowledge of what’s happening around us. At times, individuals ,
such
 as professional gamers, who spend
a
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the
show examples
 majority of their time, meeting
people
 online, find it hard to form a real connection in their physical life, as they mostly have forgotten the world that exists outside their screens.
Although
, meeting
people
 and socializing online does have some positive attributes, the negative side outweighs the positive. All of us as human
being
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beings
show examples
needs
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need
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 to know our position in
the
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apply
show examples
society
, in order to function well and contribute back to
the
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apply
show examples
society
. Knowing your place in
the
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apply
show examples
society
 requires practice and engagement , both of which cannot be achieved if
your
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you're
you are
show examples
 blocked
infront
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in front
 of your screen. It is only through meeting new
people
,
you
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that you
show examples
 will expand your
horizon
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horizons
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,
learn
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and learn
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 about new
culture
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cultures
show examples
,
language
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languages
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, skills etc which in the real world space feels more authentic and truthful.
Submitted by mansigudiamansi on

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a balanced argument in the body paragraphs. Additionally, include more supporting examples to strengthen your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a stronger logical structure for your essay. Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear topic sentence and that your ideas are well-developed and connected throughout the essay. Also, consider adding a stronger concluding paragraph to summarize your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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