Some believe that tourism does more to create tension between countries rather than helping individuals better understand other cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In today’s society, international
tourism
plays a pivotal role in every aspect of a country.
Although
some individuals claim that
tourist
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the tourist
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industry
creates
a
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apply
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tremendous pressure between
the
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apply
show examples
nations, others argue that it helps to build up a proper comprehension
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
other cultures. In
this
essay, I will explain why I disagree with
this
statement which
tourism
may be a reason for tension among
countries
, and provide examples to support my position. On
one
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the one
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hand, many people argue that
travelling
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the travelling
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industry
provide
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provides
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in-depth
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an in-depth
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understand
Replace the word
understanding
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the cultures.
This
is because, most travellers seek all the backgrounds, customs and rituals of
this
particular country before travelling there by using either the advancement of technology or social media platforms
such
as
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
, websites and online articles.
Therefore
, there is no
any
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apply
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barrier to follow and respect
to
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apply
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other cultural beliefs.
Other
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Another
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respectable fact is, if any foreigner does not have sufficient knowledge regarding the matters
about
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of
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cultural heritage places, as hospitable nations, the tourist guidance offers their best support for those travellers without any relationship between
countries
would be encouraged
due to
tourism
, enhancing their deep understanding other
countries
’ cultural values.
On the other hand
, the reason why many believe that the tourist
industry
brings
a detrimental issues
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detrimental issues
a detrimental issue
show examples
between
countries
is that
,
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apply
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the terrible
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
of
few
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a few
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tourists lead to
the
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apply
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conflicts
occurred
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occurring
show examples
in renowned places.
For example
, some travellers visit religious
spot
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spots
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more exposing their skin, which is not allowed. It may be
due to
their unawareness, but social media turn into a conflict which impacts the harmony between
countries
.
Hence
, I believe
tourism
would not
affect creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
any tension between
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
,
instead
boosting strong
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
among other territories. In conclusion,
while
many folks opine the travelling
industry
provides
better
Add an article
a better
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opportunity to learn other cultures well, the outcomes of
this
field far outweigh other issues.
Therefore
, I strongly disagree with the statement that
tourism
is inclined to
occur
Verb problem
cause
show examples
tension between nations.
Submitted by adpremadasa82 on

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Task Response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in the essay. Discuss both the positive aspects of tourism in understanding other cultures as well as the potential for tension. The essay mainly focuses on the positive aspects and could benefit from a balanced approach. Include a clear thesis statement to guide the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Overall, the essay demonstrates good coherence and organization. However, to improve coherence, consider using more transitional phrases and logical connectors to link ideas and ensure a smooth flow between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The essay showcases a varied range of vocabulary and effectively communicates ideas. To further enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more precise and specific vocabulary related to the topic of tourism and cultural understanding.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with few errors. However, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistent verb tenses throughout the essay.
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