Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?
No doubt celebrities or
sportsmen
get paid higher
than other occupations like nurses, doctors or Correct word choice
more
teachers
. I strongly agree that teachers
or health workers should be paid more than those celebraties
, Correct your spelling
celebrities
few
reasons why I Correct article usage
a few
believed
in Wrong verb form
believe
this
are enlist
below.
Change the verb form
are enlisted
are enlisting
Firstly
if we talk about the
Correct article usage
apply
teachers
, as
we know that teaching is a noble profession. Correct word choice
apply
Teachers
are not only building their students they are building the base of the entire nation. Dealing, seven plus
hours a day with students of different backgrounds can drain a person emotionally Add a hyphen
seven-plus
as well as
mentally. Additionally
, teachers
spent seventeen plus
years of their life in studying and gaining experiences to teach every type of student, In return what they are getting is sadly only meeting their expenses. Add a hyphen
seventeen-plus
On the other
hand
celebrities like tik tokers, bloggers and so on Add a comma
hand,
gets
paid a hefty amount for a ten sec video or Change the verb form
get
may be
a dancing video, from which our children are not getting anything obviously.
Correct your spelling
maybe
Sportsmen
play a game and get paid atleast
three times more than a teacher or Correct your spelling
at least
healthworker
, Correct your spelling
health workers
On the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
healthworkers
Correct your spelling
health workers
working
day and night for the Wrong verb form
work
well being
and solemn of people, In return getting not even half of the amount they Add a hyphen
well-being
spent
on their studies and degrees.
Most Wrong verb form
spend
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
sportsmen
or celebrities are not well educated just has a school degree but has
a very good income, Correct subject-verb agreement
have
On the other
hand
our Add the comma(s)
hand,
teachers
, doctors or nurses spent
half of their lives studies working hard to get Wrong verb form
spend
this
status and education, after that they get a year or two years expierence
to get a job, but standard teaching or medical profession jobs are not paying enough to their employees which is really sad.
I will conclude my essay by mentioning one main point, we should raise Correct your spelling
experience
pay
of Add an article
the pay
teachers
or healthworkhers
it is very important so that our Correct your spelling
health
young
Correct word choice
younger
generations
can idealize them, Fix the agreement mistake
generation
Moreover
if you see these days young
generation is idealizing bloggers or Correct article usage
the young
sportsmen
more which is even not good for their country progression.Submitted by ammamatif on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are addressed in the response. Present a clear opinion and support it with detailed arguments and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas in a logical manner to improve coherence. Use linking words and phrases to connect different parts of the essay.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary. Use more varied and precise words to express ideas and provide a stronger argument.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Aim for more complex and accurate sentences to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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