IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some cities, governments have tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive or negative?

#cities #governments #traffic #congestion #tax #rush #hour #development
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In a faction of towns, Authorities have attempted to dwindle the vehicular queues, by enacting the
road-tax
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road tax
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 at crucial
hours
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 of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 day. I believe that it is unjust to oblige people to pay and demonstrates the lack of understanding of
policy makers
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policymakers
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. One downside of
this
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 policy is that
,
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apply
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 it does not take other consideration of factors that could lead to
traffic
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 bottlenecks. In my city,
due to
Linking Words
geography
Correct article usage
the geography
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 of our area, which includes difficult terrain and limited room for driving
vehicles
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,
traffic
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 jams are often common. I couldn't imagine how other cities cannot have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own natural challenges that give rise to lineups of motor
vehicles
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 on
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 highways.
Likewise
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, it is plausible that authorities have failed to augment the framework of road networks, which causes
traffic
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 jams.
Therefore
Linking Words
, It would be unjust to impose taxes for using
vehicles
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, especially when the territorial structure, government policies, and
exisiting
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existing
 road infrastructure, are blameworthy for
a surging
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surging vehicles
a surging vehicle
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vehicles
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 on the roads. I believe
,
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apply
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 these arbitrary measures place all the blame on drivers, even without being at fault, for driving in peak
hours
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it could trigger
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traffic
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 congestion at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
time-slots
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time slots
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.Levying
penalty
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penalties
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 on transport
vehicles
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,
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apply
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 will create a negative ripple effect, causing
traffic
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 to rise
in
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at
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 other
timings
Replace the word
times
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. To illustrate , people now prefer to complete their errands at regular
hours
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, which leads to burgeoning queues of
vehicles
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 at those
hours
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.
Therefore
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, it is true that the above provides some relief from
traffic
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 issues at peak
hours
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, but
it's
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its
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 repercussions on
traffic
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on
Change preposition
at
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 other
timings
Replace the word
times
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 cannot be overlooked. In conclusion, governments have attempted to resolve the prevalent congestion challenges in
transport
Add an article
the transport
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 system.
However
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, in my opinion, the proposed system is exacerbating the
traffic
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 at the other time span.
Also
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,
i
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I
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 believe it is not reasonable to impose taxes without considering environmental and political factors.
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

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task response
The essay lacks a clear position on whether the development is positive or negative. It is important to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and provide a strong thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, the essay has a logical structure with well-developed paragraphs. However, there is room for improvement in presenting and supporting the main points. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provide specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
lexical resource
There is a good range of vocabulary used in the essay. However, be cautious of word choice and sentence construction to avoid confusion. Additionally, try to include more precise and academic vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar with mostly accurate sentence structures and verb tenses. However, there are occasional errors in sentence construction and punctuation. Proofreading the essay carefully can help eliminate these errors and improve the grammatical range.
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