The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

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Obesity has become a matter of concern in today's time. The number of

people

Use synonyms

above the normal weight is increasing tremendously making them stand on the verge of contracting

life threatening

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life-threatening

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diseases. One of the main justifications points out the availability of any commodity at the doorstep,

as well as

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the rising trend of

sedentary

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a sedentary

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lifestyle. Raising awareness amongst these individuals could help in tackling

this

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problem.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the introduction of many online applications and services has made the lives of

people

Use synonyms

easier than ever by receiving instant delivery at the click of a button like food and groceries.

Thus

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, making physical activity linked with

this

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vanish. To illustrate, after the introduction of various delivery applications, there has been a shocking 50 per cent rise in the proportions of individuals exempting themselves from physical movement.

Moreover

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, the modern work culture requires long sitting hours on chairs.

Hence

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, indirectly

promoting

Wrong verb form

promotes

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sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

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lifestyle, which contributes to

Change the verb form

being

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one of the main

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

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for being overweight.

For instance

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, more than two-thirds of the office employees come under the overweight category. It's high time to take

this

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matter into consideration before things go out of hand. Arranging health awareness campaigns which

describes

Change the verb form

describe

show examples

the dreadful outcomes like diabetes, coronary artery disease and hypertension that

comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

show examples

tagged

along with

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obesity.

Along with

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this

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, educating

people

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on how to effectively tackle

this

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issue by promoting daily exercise and lifestyle modifications.

For example

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Change the article

show examples

NGO named "For You", has

sucessfully

Correct your spelling

successfully

helped more than 10,000

people

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lose weight by campaigning and raising awareness throughout the nation.

To conclude

Linking Words

, modern resources

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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made the lives of

people

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effortless, making them lazier than ever,

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and as

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a consequence the proportion of obese individuals

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

on the rise. It's the person's responsibility to look out for their well-being because "health is wealth", and by the use of various cost-effective programmes, they can tackle

this

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concern.

mrigankingley2099Mon Nov 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction that directly addresses the question prompt.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments and make your explanations more convincing.

lexical resource

Vary your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms and phrases related to the topic of obesity.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy in your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
genetics
nutritional awareness
processed foods
fast food
lifestyle diseases
preventative measures
tax incentives
urban planning
community gardens
wellness initiatives
dietary guidelines
physical fitness
calorie-dense
portion control
metabolic rate
health literacy
food deserts
work-life balance
junk food
BMI (Body Mass Index)
non-communicable diseases
food labeling

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?