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Band 6.5

Social Media such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram has changed the lifestyle of people. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#media #facebook #twitter #instagram #lifestyle #people
It is believed that the advancement of social apps has changed the lifestyle of
people
 immensely as it significantly attracts a larger audience,
while
 it is true that every topic has its own set of
advantages
 and
disadvantages
. The benefits of social
media
 outweigh the drawbacks.
This
 essay will explore the various
advantages
 of social apps and demonstrate why they hold greater significance compared to their
disadvantages
.  
To begin
 with, one prominent benefit of using these apps is the seamless connectivity they offer.
This
 means that it allows individuals to stay in touch with friends and families regardless of their geographical location.
For instance
, through the use of applications
such
 as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram,
people
 now share images, videos, and world updates instantly, fostering a sense of belonging to a community.  
Moreover
,
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
media
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provides life-changing career opportunities
This
 refers to the fact that individuals who have created their accounts in these applications generate a handsome salary, which is needed for their living. Not only does it change their lifestyle, but it
also
 creates more opportunities to land a good job that enhances their career.
For example
, career-oriented websites post alerts of job openings that help numerous
people
 apply for them instantly.   Despite its
advantages
, social
media
also
 presents several
disadvantages
. One notable drawback is cyberbullying and harassment.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that many accounts are run by false IDs, which lead to abuse of power and spreading harmful content. To cite an example, an individual behind an online profile engages in cyberbullying targeting vulnerable
people
 and causing emotional distress. These
disadvantages
 highlight the need for proactive measures to address these issues.  
Although
 social
media
 applications have their drawbacks, the
advantages
 they bring are more significant.
This
 is because the gap created by the distance is being filled emotionally.
Therefore
, with proper measures in place, the positive impact of social
media
 can be harnessed, making it a valuable tool in today's interconnected world.   In conclusion,
while
 social
media
 has its
disadvantages
,
such
 as harassment or spreading misinformation, the
advantages
 it offers are undeniable.
Therefore
, it is evident that the
advantages
 of social
media
 outweigh the
disadvantages
, reinforcing its importance in our modern society.
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the question and provides a clear opinion. However, you could have provided more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good organization of ideas with a logical structure. Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is generally strong, but you could have used a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is mostly accurate, but there are some minor errors in sentence structure and verb agreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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