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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Social Media such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram has changed the lifestyle of people. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#media #facebook #twitter #instagram #lifestyle #people
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It is believed that the advancement of social apps has changed the lifestyle of
people
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 immensely as it significantly attracts a larger audience,
while
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 it is true that every topic has its own set of
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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. The benefits of social
media
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 outweigh the drawbacks.
This
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 essay will explore the various
advantages
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 of social apps and demonstrate why they hold greater significance compared to their
disadvantages
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.  
To begin
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 with, one prominent benefit of using these apps is the seamless connectivity they offer.
This
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 means that it allows individuals to stay in touch with friends and families regardless of their geographical location.
For instance
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, through the use of applications
such
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 as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram,
people
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 now share images, videos, and world updates instantly, fostering a sense of belonging to a community.  
Moreover
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,
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
media
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,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provides life-changing career opportunities
This
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 refers to the fact that individuals who have created their accounts in these applications generate a handsome salary, which is needed for their living. Not only does it change their lifestyle, but it
also
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 creates more opportunities to land a good job that enhances their career.
For example
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, career-oriented websites post alerts of job openings that help numerous
people
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 apply for them instantly.   Despite its
advantages
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, social
media
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also
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 presents several
disadvantages
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. One notable drawback is cyberbullying and harassment.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that many accounts are run by false IDs, which lead to abuse of power and spreading harmful content. To cite an example, an individual behind an online profile engages in cyberbullying targeting vulnerable
people
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 and causing emotional distress. These
disadvantages
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 highlight the need for proactive measures to address these issues.  
Although
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 social
media
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 applications have their drawbacks, the
advantages
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 they bring are more significant.
This
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 is because the gap created by the distance is being filled emotionally.
Therefore
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, with proper measures in place, the positive impact of social
media
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 can be harnessed, making it a valuable tool in today's interconnected world.   In conclusion,
while
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 social
media
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 has its
disadvantages
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,
such
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 as harassment or spreading misinformation, the
advantages
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 it offers are undeniable.
Therefore
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, it is evident that the
advantages
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 of social
media
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 outweigh the
disadvantages
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, reinforcing its importance in our modern society.
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the question and provides a clear opinion. However, you could have provided more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good organization of ideas with a logical structure. Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is generally strong, but you could have used a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is mostly accurate, but there are some minor errors in sentence structure and verb agreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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