IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people feel that learning a foreign languageis an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technologyand other vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #languageis #component #child #education #language #waste #time #technologyand #subjects
A segment of society
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that teaching international linguistics offers no benefits to teenagers, and should be replaced with technical and job-based training programs.
This
 essay will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both viewpoints and I will provide my opinion
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end. Foreign linguistics proficiency is important in order to find employment in multinational companies.
Due to
diverse
Correct article usage
the diverse
show examples
languages
 spoken around the world, many multinational companies are focusing on international
languages
,
such
 as English, for their regular communication across the globe.
This
 offers a
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
medium of communication for its employees who live in
a different geographical locations
Correct the article-noun agreement
a different geographical location
different geographical locations
show examples
.
Hence
, It is important to have wisdom about
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
 language in order to increase employment
prospectus
Correct your spelling
prospects
show examples
 in those companies; which in
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
 to technical skills,
also
 demand
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
expertise in speaking English.
On the other hand
, some people think teaching children about technologies and vocational courses is better than learning
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
 language Through technical and job-oriented courses, they will acquire knowledge and training in using the latest tools
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 technology,
such
Change preposition
as ms
show examples
ms word
Correct your spelling
MS Word
show examples
 and Microsoft
excel
Capitalize word
Excel
show examples
;
therefore
, employers can save money and their resources
as a result
 of not putting much efforts in teaching about those subjects.
Hence
, more awareness about those domains will complement their employment perspectives by fostering job-based traits and skills in
school goers
Correct your spelling
schoolgoers
show examples
.
However
, I believe it is crucial to learn about foreign
languages
 in order to open
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of job opportunities in other parts of the world, and in
children'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 native
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, alike. At the same time,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technical skills are important to enter the job world seamlessly. In conclusion, schools should try to incorporate both for
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
 development of a child, including vocational and technical training, and teaching foreign
languages
.
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed and provide a clear opinion about the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the essay with clear paragraphs and use transitional words and phrases to connect ideas.
Lexical Resource
Expand vocabulary range by using more precise and varied words and expressions.
Grammatical Range
Work on improving sentence structures and vary sentence types for a wider range of grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!