You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#minutes #proportions #pupils #four #school #information #features #comparisons

The table provides information about

pupils

Change noun form

pupils'

pupil's

show examples

attendances

Fix the agreement mistake

attendance

show examples

in secondary

schools

which are divided into 4 groups, for

nine

Correct determiner usage

show examples

years

Fix the agreement mistake

year

show examples

period from 2000

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to 2009.

Overall

, it can be seen that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the lowest proportion of pupils had Specialist

Schools

Moreover

, the highest had Voluntary-controlled and Community

schools

. In 2000,

Grammar

Correct article usage

the Grammar

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

had the twice percentage of Specialist

Schools

24% and 12% respectively.

Furthermore

, after 5 years, Grammar

schools

Change noun form

school's

schools'

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

was

decrased

Correct your spelling

decreased

by 5% and in 2009 by 7%.

In addition

Specialist

Correct article usage

the Specialist

show examples

Schools

percentage

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decrased

Correct your spelling

decreased

by 1% in each period. Regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the Voluntary-controlled

schools

in 2000

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

had more than

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

half

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

pupils. In 2005 was more than a third and in

final

Add an article

the final

show examples

year it was a fifth of

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

students.

In addition

, Community

schools

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

year had more than one in ten and in 2005 less than a third of school children .

Finally

, in 2009 its numbers increased to 58%.

Submitted by zarinadalab on Mon Nov 06 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words schools with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

157 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your opinion

Countries around the world require more and more energy every year for domestic and industrial use. What are the causes of this excessive energy consumption, and how does it affect the environment?

In many countries, people like to eat a lot of food that cannot be grown in their local area. As a result, much of the food that people consume from other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

Individual can do nothing to improve the environment;only goverment and large companies can make a difference.To what extent do you agree or disagree.