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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbors #cities
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days, the relationship of
people
 with their
neigbours
Correct your spelling
neighbours
 is so far in urban cities. The reason why
this
 bad situation happened is that too much
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 must be done, so they do not have enough
time
 to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 strangers around their houses.
This
 problem can be solved by arranging
timetable
Correct article usage
the timetable
show examples
 suitably. The world
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 developed fast day by day, the distance between
people
 and
people
 is created by
busy
Correct word choice
the busyness
show examples
 of each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
. For each person of us,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 childhood,
people
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
learned that
time
 is compared to gold or silver, so brilliant
people
 will never waste their
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing something
make
Verb problem
that is
show examples
 not
profit
Replace the word
profitable
show examples
 for them .
For instance
, many poor families work 9 to 5,
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
 that they do more extra jobs to help them out of poverty.
As a result
,
much
Correct word choice
the more
show examples
 money
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 make,
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 distance is far. Someone else
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that money is the best and they do not care
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 or social activities
However
, they can reduce their spare
time
 or some unnecessary jobs to get on with new friends. Familiar with
people
 around your
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
 bring many advantages.
For example
, when you are sick and there is nobody at your home,
Correct pronoun usage
your neighbor
show examples
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
 is helping you solve the problems rapidly In conclusion, the first thing you must
be done
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 if you change house is
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 new friends. Every distance can be deleted by your attitude

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherent organization of ideas, which makes it difficult to follow the argument. It is important to organize the essay with clear paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion, and ensure each paragraph has a clear main point followed by supporting information.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete, and the ideas presented are not fully developed or explained in a comprehensive manner. It is critical to address all parts of the question, provide clear and developed ideas, and support those ideas with specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
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