IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some claim that children are more aware of environmental issues than older adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #adults
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It is argued by some people that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more awareness of environmental problems among youngsters than elders. I totally agree with
this
 statement since kids are taught about these
issues
 in schools and they are more familiar with the
technology
. At present, younger ones learn about the importance of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and the
issues
 it
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 schools. Colleges make aware their students of many difficulties.
Such
 as
,
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apply
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 air pollution, global warming and water pollution. These make them more
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these troubles than senior citizens.
Also
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Also,
show examples
 they teach the impact which can
cause
Wrong verb form
be caused
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 these
issues
 and how to prevent
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Another reason for
this
 is that the development of the
technology
. Nowadays,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 has access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
 and youngsters are
experts
Correct quantifier usage
more experts
show examples
 on it than their parents.
Therefore
, they have the chance to explore
around
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apply
show examples
the world and get
necessary
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the necessary
show examples
 information on the problems of
mother
Capitalize word
Mother
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 nature than elders.
Also
, they can search for solutions on
internet
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the internet
show examples
 to reduce the impact
causing
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
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 the earth.
Due to
 these technical and
educatioal enhancemens
Correct your spelling
educational enhancements
 awareness of environmental complications
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 propagated swiftly.
Previous
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The previous
show examples
 generation could not get
this
 advantage
due to
 underdeveloped
technology
 and tutoring. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the opinion
on
Change preposition
that
show examples
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation is more conscious of environmental
issues
 than seniors.
Furthermore
,
this
 is
due to
 the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology
 and teaching which has the possibility to get updated on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by addaragelal on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is adequately developed with clear, relevant examples and explanations to support your argument. While some general statements were present, more detailed examples would strengthen the essay.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words to clearly show the relationship between ideas and to help guide the reader through the argument.
grammatical range
Increase your score by using a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex structures, and by paying careful attention to subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage.
lexical resource
The essay would benefit from a broader range of vocabulary and more precise word choice to clearly express complex ideas and avoid repetition. Consider varying your language for concepts you frequently mention, such as 'environmental issues'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Conscious
  • Environmental studies
  • Tech-savvy
  • Firsthand experiences
  • Conservation efforts
  • Activism
  • Sustainable habits
  • Scarcity
  • Practical understanding
  • Incorporates
What to do next:
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