Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the technological society, working from
home
through the Internet is more and more common in every age because of its accessibility and low prices. In my opinion, I think it brings both sides of effects to humans, and
this
essay will discuss the reason. Staying at
home
for a long
time
can cause to variety of serious health
problems
. First of all, mental health is one of the most common
problems
that
people
in
this
case will have. The reason is that they do not communicate or contact directly with anyone, so they can be
autism
Replace the word
autistic
show examples
or
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
skills.
Moreover
, they can
also
have some
axotic
Correct your spelling
exotic
activities when they do not know how the world
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
.
Finally
, when they have to go outside, they can not get on well with
people
around them, and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
sense of isolated.
Although
working from
home
saves a large range of
time
moving, it causes of variety of health
problems
.
Firstly
, working online or studying at
home
is the best way to arrange a
time
when can do more activities than before.
People
used to spend hours moving to work or study, and even
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
rush hours;
therefore
, if they can remove
this
time
of moving, they can spend more
time
doing more work
such
as reading books, doing housework and so on.
Additionally
, working and studying at
home
is
also
reasonable for
people
because they do not need to take any responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
transportation costs or accommodation if their offices are far from their houses.
As a result
,
people
save a large source of both
time
and money for their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
working online helps
people
save a variety of
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
show examples
, they might have more
problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
or
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense of
isolated
Replace the word
isolation
show examples
.
Submitted by lethigialinh77 on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are not fully developed. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided some relevant examples to support your ideas, but they could be more specific and detailed. Try to include specific examples that further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas in a clear and cohesive manner. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is properly linked to the previous and following paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. Avoid repetition and explore different synonyms and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your grammar usage and sentence structure. There are several instances of incorrect grammar and awkward phrasing in your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
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