Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#world #adults #home #children #study #technology #development

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In the technological society, working from

home

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through the Internet is more and more common in every age because of its accessibility and low prices. In my opinion, I think it brings both sides of effects to humans, and

this

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essay will discuss the reason. Staying at

home

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for a long

time

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can cause to variety of serious health

problems

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. First of all, mental health is one of the most common

problems

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that

people

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this

Linking Words

case will have. The reason is that they do not communicate or contact directly with anyone, so they can be

autism

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autistic

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lost

Wrong verb form

lose

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Change preposition

apply

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communicate

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communication

show examples

skills.

Moreover

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, they can

also

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have some

axotic

Correct your spelling

exotic

activities when they do not know how the world

Change the verb form

does

show examples

Finally

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, when they have to go outside, they can not get on well with

people

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around them, and

Unnecessary verb

apply

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the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

sense of isolated.

Although

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working from

home

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saves a large range of

time

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moving, it causes of variety of health

problems

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Firstly

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, working online or studying at

home

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is the best way to arrange a

time

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when can do more activities than before.

People

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used to spend hours moving to work or study, and even

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

rush hours;

therefore

Linking Words

, if they can remove

this

Linking Words

time

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of moving, they can spend more

time

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doing more work

such

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as reading books, doing housework and so on.

Additionally

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, working and studying at

home

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also

Linking Words

reasonable for

people

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because they do not need to take any responsibility

Change preposition

for

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transportation costs or accommodation if their offices are far from their houses.

As a result

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people

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save a large source of both

time

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and money for their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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. In conclusion,

although

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working online helps

people

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save a variety of

sources

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resources

show examples

, they might have more

problems

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about

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of

isolated

Replace the word

isolation

show examples

Submitted by lethigialinh77 on Mon Nov 06 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are not fully developed. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement and summarize your main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

You have provided some relevant examples to support your ideas, but they could be more specific and detailed. Try to include specific examples that further illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas in a clear and cohesive manner. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is properly linked to the previous and following paragraphs.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. Avoid repetition and explore different synonyms and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your grammar usage and sentence structure. There are several instances of incorrect grammar and awkward phrasing in your essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remote work
e-learning
accessibility
inclusive
productivity
personalized learning
disciplined routine
interpersonal skills
cybersecurity
sustainability
work-life balance
physical disabilities

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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effect of this epidemic?

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Environmental problems are too big for individuals countries and individual persons to address. In other words, we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. What is your opinion?

Some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?