IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.

The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts depict
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about population
age
Use synonyms
 groups in
Oman
Use synonyms
 and
Spain
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and predictions for the population growth till 2055 in both countries. It is clear from the charts that we have various
age
Use synonyms
 groups and how time affects their percentage.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the 60+ years in
Oman
Use synonyms
 has jumped from 48% to 57%,
on the
Linking Words
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
show examples
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in
Spain
Use synonyms
 went down from 62% to 46% amongst the population. The 15-59
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in
Oman
Use synonyms
 has slightly increased from 4% to 6% in 2055,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
Spain
Use synonyms
 showed a tremendous increase in
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 from 24% in 2005 to 42%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the 0-14
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 has lessened in both countries,
Oman
Use synonyms
 went from 48% in 2005 to 37% in 2055, and in
Use synonyms
Spain
Add a comma
Spain,
show examples
 the percentage went down from 14% in 2005 to 12% in 2055.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that the youngest
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 decreased in both countries, and the 15-59
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 slightly increased in
Oman
Use synonyms
 and highly increased in
Spain
Use synonyms
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrary
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
 the 60+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 has increased in
Oman
Use synonyms
 but decreased in
Spain
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, oman, spain, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: