Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words

#people #parents #children #activities #freedom

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One of the social concerns today relates to managing

youngster

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youngsters

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While

Linking Words

commonly

Add a missing verb

is commonly

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suggested that

parents

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should supervise their children's activities closely, others believe children should have more

freedom

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. On the one hand, it is argued that adult should control their children’s activities

srictly

Correct your spelling

strictly

. The main reason is

parents

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can support or help them go the right way, lead them to the true entrance and avoid

meeting

Verb problem

making

show examples

Use synonyms

mistake

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mistakes

show examples

Parents

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are experienced

adult

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adults

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that’s

Verb problem

which

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mean

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means

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they are skillful and full of knowledge, they know exactly the right way

where

Rephrase

apply

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their

child

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should go

Change preposition

apply

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and stay away from miscalculation. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that

teenager

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teenagers

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are

such

Linking Words

a generation which easily be distracted,

parents

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are the only

one

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ones

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who can push them back to the track. Another reason is

Add an article

a kid

the kid

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kid

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kids

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who

have

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has

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strict

parents

Use synonyms

parents

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who supervise them closely will have a high

discripline

Correct your spelling

discipline

disciplined

For example

Linking Words

, when a

child

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has

parents

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who watch and advise them

everyday

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every day

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, its

build

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builds

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that

child

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discripline

Correct your spelling

discipline

disciplined

thinking.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is strongly believed by others that young people should have their own

freedom

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. People often have

this

Linking Words

opinion because kids when having their own

freedom

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will be more comfortable.

Imaging

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Imagine

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the satisfaction you have if you don’t have to do

what ever

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whatever

show examples

people

told

Wrong verb form

tell

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you to and can be able to construct the things you want to.

Moreover

Linking Words

listen

Wrong verb form

listening

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to what you dislike from

parents

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also

Linking Words

cause stress,

deepression

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depression

and

sometime

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sometimes

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conflict so if youngster be free from

Use synonyms

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

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, these concern will

Unnecessary verb

apply

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fade away. A second point is some

adult

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adults

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are afraid of letting

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child

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children

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make a

mistake

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, in fact making

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mistake

Fix the agreement mistake

mistakes

show examples

is beneficial for

teenager

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teenagers

show examples

to learn from

those fault

Change the determiner

that fault

those faults

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. A particularly good example here is

according to

Linking Words

a toddler, when they

toddling

Wrong verb form

toddle

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by their foot they usually make some

Use synonyms

mistake

Fix the agreement mistake

mistakes

show examples

and fall but that

fail

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failure

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situation will teach them how to stand up and keep going. Likely to a teen, it is not that bad to fail, a free kid will be able to manage that problem and

Fix the infinitive

apply

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overcome

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

their

way

Correct word choice

own way

show examples

. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that

parents

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should control their kids attentively ; meanwhile, others assume that

juvenile

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juveniles

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must be able to own their life. Personally, I tend to believe that the youth had better have

prossession

Correct your spelling

possession

freedom

Use synonyms

in their life.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Mon Nov 06 2023

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task achievement

Develop your ideas further and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly and using appropriate linking devices.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and make sure to use a variety of complex and compound sentences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

390 words

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Your opinion

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