Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

While

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it is commonly thought

Use synonyms

parents

Correct word choice

that parents

show examples

should supervise their

children

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’s

activities

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, others believe

children

Use synonyms

should have more

freedom

Use synonyms

. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion,

parents

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should let them have more

freedom

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, it is argued that

parents

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should supervise their

children

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’s

activities

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. The main reason is that the

children

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, nowadays, can access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

knowledge or anything in the world with the Internet and

also

Linking Words

some bad things. The

children

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aren’t mature enough to know what is good or bad for them. Constant guidance helps prevent them from engaging in harmful behaviours,

such

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as excessive screen time, substance abuse or associating with negative influences. Another reason is that, by overseeing academic and extracurricular

activities

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parents

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can ensure their

children

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stay focused and achieve their goals.

For instance

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, many high-achieving students confirm that thanks to their

parents

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' involvement, they can succeed.

On the other hand

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, others claim that giving them more

freedom

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Firstly

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, it encourages their responsibilities and self-confidence. When

children

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are allowed to make decisions, they can learn from their mistakes and develop problem-solving skills.

For example

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, allowing the child to manage their study schedule may help them know the importance of time management.

Secondly

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, being too controlling can destroy the relationship between kids and

parents

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, leading to rebellion or

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of trust. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that

parents

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should supervise their

children

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’s

activities

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Punctuation problem

;

show examples

meanwhile, others assume that

children

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should have more

freedom

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. Personally, I tend to believe that giving kids more

freedom

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can do more good than harm.

yeshomeclass

Nov 6, 2023

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content

Add more clear, full ideas for each view. Tie each idea to your main opinion to create a strong line.

structure

Make the flow smoother. Link ideas from one paragraph to the next with easy words.

grammar

Watch small grammar points. Use simple, correct form. E.g., 'access to knowledge' and 'not old enough' will be fine.

lexis

Use simple, exact words. Avoid long phrases. Use common words to tell your idea.

content

Give more clear examples from life or studies to back a point.

content

You show both sides and give your own view.

structure

Your essay has a clear shape: intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

example

There are real examples like high-achieving students and time use.

cohesion

Link words help the flow of ideas.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

watch
guide
limit
allow
freedom
safety
risk
trust
rule
choice
decision
child
parent
home
school
time
study
help
grow
plan
talk
listen
explain
reason
calm
respect
mature
age
family
future
example
balance

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Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

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Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. teacher need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all cost and go back to teaching basic study skills. do you agree or disagree?

It is thought by someone that a school teachers is to mitigate and inspire students .however, other people believe that a teacher primary role is to in knowledge.what do you think is the role of a teacher?