IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbors #cities
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Keeping in contact with
people
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 who live in the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
 is no longer important in huge cities nowadays. The writer contends that it is mostly because of a disease named “Hurry sickness” and
population
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 growth. In order to tackle the problem,
people
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 should be encouraged to interact and make new acquaintances around their homes. It should be acknowledged that during the modern era, humans tend to become busier as they want to save time doing more worthwhile things.
This
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 is defined as a mental health disease – hurry sickness – by scientists who did several
researches
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types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
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 in
this
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 major during
90s
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the 90s
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, after examining more than 70 million
of
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apply
show examples
people
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 that witnessed the same symptoms. These individuals would neatly stick to their own
business
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businesses
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 or family without keeping in mind any willingness to get out and greet their
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neighbors
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neighbours
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. What is more, an increase in
population
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 will prevent
people
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 from making new acquaintances if the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
 just carries on
rising
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raising
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 its
population
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. Many
people
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 would feel tired and time-wasting
as a result
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 of meeting new
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neighbors
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neighbours
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 every day
,
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apply
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 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they usually ended up
with
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in
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 isolation.
Therefore
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, to maintain a good relationship with
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neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
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as well as
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 to feel a sense of community, individuals have to encourage their
family
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families
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 and themselves to step out of the walls.
In other words
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,
this
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 would not cost much of their time, only a pie, a small gift, or simpler, a greeting to show friendliness could be already considered as an acquaintance. For
further
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solution
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solutions
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, local authorities can
also
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 partake in
to solve
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solving
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this
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 problem by organizing events for their residents, gaining
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 impression among
people
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. In conclusion, the root cause of being isolated in the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
 is because of an increasing trend in
population
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 and a mentally hurried disease.
Therefore
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, local authorities should organize some public events and
also
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 it is the residents’ duty to encourage themselves to get out and greet their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and thorough development. It falls short in thoroughly examining the problem and proposing comprehensive solutions. To improve, focus on providing specific examples, exploring the causes and effects in more detail, and offering a more thorough and balanced analysis of the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a reasonable overall coherence and cohesion, with a clear structure and adequate use of linking devices. However, some paragraphs lack clear development, and the flow of ideas can be improved. Ensure each paragraph is well-developed and linked cohesively to the main argument.
Lexical Resource
Lexical Resource: The essay shows a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. Aim for more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance the depth and sophistication of the essay.
Grammatical Range
Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates proficiency in grammar, but there are occasional errors in sentence structure and word usage. Work on using more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
What to do next:
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