IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some area of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at the night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#area #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Freedom to step out from home at
night
Use synonyms
 for
teens
Use synonyms
 is limited through enforcement of curfew in some parts of US without the presence of an adult. In my opinion, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 decision made by the government of US.
This
Linking Words
 essay would elaborate about the reasons for my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with limiting the freedom of a youth, there is an opportunity to prevent them from engaging in violence and inappropriate
activities
Use synonyms
 that are happening at
night
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it prevents
teens
Use synonyms
 from entering
night
Use synonyms
 clubs and engaging
night
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 on the streets, which is deemed to be dangerous for their health and social behavior. For an example: - Research reports have found that the majority of
teens
Use synonyms
 who are allowed to step out at
night
Use synonyms
 are being addicted to drugs or they develop a psychological motive to engage in community vandalism.
Moreover
Linking Words
, lingering outside home in order to engage in social
activities
Use synonyms
 on a regular basis would limit the time that they have for a proper sleep.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 would have an adverse effect on their mind.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will not be able to concentrate properly during the daytime at college as well. For an instance:- In the US, social
activities
Use synonyms
 at
night
Use synonyms
 is very popular,
therefore
Linking Words
teens
Use synonyms
 are addicted towards these
activities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 would lead many
teens
Use synonyms
 not attending the college on the following day and missing out on education,which is critical for the long-term survival as an individual
as well as
Linking Words
 from the country’s economic perspective. In conclusion, it is important to remember that freedom is essential for
teens
Use synonyms
 as well, but guiding the youth in the correct path when they are in their teenage days is a responsibility of adults
as well as
Linking Words
 the governors of a country.
Thus
Linking Words
, appropriate laws have to be enforced or else there can be long term repercussions.
Submitted by isuru.cima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
In your introduction, it would be helpful to clearly state your position on the topic and provide a brief overview of your main arguments.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: