Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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in some countries bully is one of the
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues

The singular countable noun issue follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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in schools, which has
impact
Add an article
an impact

The noun phrase impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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on
others
Correct quantifier usage
other

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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students maybe is because of
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their
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their

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thier
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their
family backgrounds
also
Linking Words

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relating to mental
issue
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issues

It seems that issue may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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believe that we can sort
out
Correct pronoun usage
this out

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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by providing some rules
as well as
Linking Words

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encouraging them to work on themselves to be better , we have a number of causes of
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying

The word bulling doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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but
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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would like to talk about two of them once is refers to
genetic
Replace the word
Genetics

The word genetic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that has a big role
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children's performances , if they have a bad family or toxic friends who they are all angry or
aggresive
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aggressive

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be sure they express
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Use synonyms
thier
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their

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feeling by fighting with others ,
on the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some of them have
a mental tensions
Correct the article-noun agreement
mental tension

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun tensions in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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that they can not talk about it .
for instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
accourding
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according

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to some
researchs
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research
researches

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that doing work on
children
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children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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behaviours they find out a majority of
aggressive
Add an article
the aggressive
an aggressive

The noun phrase aggressive child seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children

It seems that child may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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come from a big family who
egnore
Correct your spelling
ignore
ignored

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them. despite
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, every
problems
Change to a singular noun
problem

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun problems. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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have a
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solution
solutions

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soulutions
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solution

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,even if it is so hard to
resalution
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resolution

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, one of the
remedy
Change to a plural noun
remedies

The singular countable noun remedy follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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can be giving them some rules that
relating
Wrong verb form
relate

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb relating. Consider changing it.

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to punishment if they do or do not ,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

we need to tell them consistently about
forbbidn
Correct your spelling
forbidden

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things ,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Add the comma(s)
,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for instance. Consider adding the comma(s).

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my school had a rule about fighting if someone
involve
Change the verb form
involves

It appears that the indefinite pronoun someone does not agree with the verb involve in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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that kind of things we
loss
Replace the word
lose

The word loss doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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our score eventually we tried to avoid against .futhermore
instractors
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instructors

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have a quite
responsblity
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responsibility

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about teach them how they can be a good member in our
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society

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by working on themselves
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of using social media , in
conclution
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conclusion

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,
adolecents sometims
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adolescents sometimes

The words adolecents sometims seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

do
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Use synonyms
thier
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their

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work angrlily because of
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their

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thier
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents
nor
Correct word choice
or

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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unhealthy mental ,in order to
develope
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develop

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our society we have to
mindful
Add a missing verb
be mindful

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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of them by motivating them to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

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not do somethings unusual
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helping them to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb have appears to be unnecessary here.

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focus on
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
thier
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their

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life.

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Task Response
Clearly state your opinion on the causes of bullying and the solutions you suggest. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and provide a clear structure to your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to the organization and coherence of your essay. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion, and use transition words to connect your ideas throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express your ideas. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
Grammatical Range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy. Review the use of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bullying
  • imbalance of power
  • empathy
  • understanding
  • media
  • social norms
  • policies
  • consequences
  • education
  • awareness
  • promote
  • kindness
  • parents
  • community
  • safe
  • supportive
What to do next:
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