The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

#changes #place #west #park #school #construction

The map

display

Change the verb form

displays

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the difference that

west park secondary

Correct your spelling

West Park Secondary School

show examples

school

have taken lots of changes from 1950 to 2010.

Overall

it is clear that

earlier

school

was not have

Change the verb form

did not have

show examples

place

Add an article

a place

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for sports and no any space for parking . Currently,in 1950 houses,

playground

Fix the agreement mistake

playgrounds

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and farmland

attach

Wrong verb form

were attached

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Change preposition

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the

school

and

main

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the main

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road in front of the

school

Furthermore

,there were changes in

this

place

car park,science block and sports fields were new additions.

According to

the

place

,that

place

had more develop

and

Correct your spelling

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area of car parking was expanded in 2010

whereas

,playing games area had been short and

also

play ground

Correct your spelling

playground

show examples

was

too

Add an article

the too

show examples

small and main road was still there

as well as

Add an article

the

show examples

school

building was as It is.

Submitted by rs55169611 on Mon Nov 06 2023

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, place with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

115 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

Only government action can solve housing shortages in big cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than their accomplishments and this is setting a bad example for the youngsters. Do you agree or disgaree with the statement ?