IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
#changes #place #west #park #school #construction
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The map
display
Change the verb form
displays
show examples
 the difference that
west park secondary
Correct your spelling
West Park Secondary School
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 have taken lots of changes from 1950 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
 earlier
school
Use synonyms
was not have
Change the verb form
did not have
show examples
Use synonyms
place
Add an article
a place
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 for sports and no any space for parking . Currently,in 1950 houses,
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
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 and farmland
attach
Wrong verb form
were attached
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at
Change preposition
to
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 the
school
Use synonyms
 and
main
Change the article
the main
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 road in front of the
school
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,there were changes in
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 car park,science block and sports fields were new additions.
According to
Linking Words
 the
place
Use synonyms
,that
place
Use synonyms
 had more develop
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 area of car parking was expanded in 2010
whereas
Linking Words
,playing games area had been short and
also
Linking Words
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
 was
too
Add an article
the too
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 small and main road was still there
as well as
Linking Words
Add an article
the
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 building was as It is.
Submitted by rs55169611 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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