IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Public library should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, applications, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

#library #books #waste #resources #media #software #applications #videos #dvds
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It is argued that public
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 should provide
books
instead
 of wasting their expenditure on
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology
 which has expensive costs
such
 as
software
, applications, videos or DVDs. I firmly disagree with the notion. Even though purchasing high-tech
media
 will affect the cost, I believe that it is included in a long-term investment which can lead to many positive effects. With regards to the expenditure, a public
library
 might spend more money to purchase
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology
 rather than just providing
books
. Some contend that a public
library
 will suffer
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the costs if they
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 high-tech
media
.
For instance
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 buying
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
software
 will be ten times higher than that of a book. It is related to my personal experience. When I was in undergraduate degree, I
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to purchase both a book and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data analysis
software
 which
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 quite
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
costs. The book that I bought was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
$10,
whereas
 the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 data analysis
software
 was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
$100.
However
, purchasing a high-tech
media
such
 as data analysis
software
 has many positive impacts in the long term.
Firstly
, people can use
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
software
 in the
library
 to get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
wide access
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 many
books
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overseas.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is because they can read
e-book
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
 or other information easily through
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
software
.
Secondly
,
this
 condition will affect many people to have
broaden
Replace the word
broad
show examples
 knowledge. People can enrich their perspective through
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-tech
media
, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
 condition will increase
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure
regarding
Change preposition
to
show examples
technology
 skills. In conclusion, even though a public
library
 should spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 having high-tech
media
 rather than providing
books
, it will make many positive impacts related to
knowledge-base
Correct your spelling
knowledge
show examples
 and
technology
 skills.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Lexical Resource
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Grammatical Range
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