IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic: Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#topic #people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
It is thought that it is not justified to do experimentation on
animals
 and
this
 issue has to be legalised ,
while
 others believe that it is not a big issue to practise any sort of
experiments
 on
animals
.In
this
 essay, I will illustrate that it is not clarified to do
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 on
animals
 and I will mention some other alternative approaches to tackle
this
 problem. To
beign
Correct your spelling
begin
 with,
Animals
 have rights equal to
humans
, so it is not fair to risk their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 by some hazardous
experiments
.
This
 is because these
animals
 have the same feelings
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
humans
 and some of these trials are risky , and
as a result
 , some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
 will be endangered in the long run.
For Instance
, the number of cats in North
Caroline
Correct your spelling
Carolina
show examples
 is on down
turn
Correct your spelling
downturn
show examples
 in order to meet the
researchers
Change noun form
researcher's
researchers'
show examples
 needs.
Therefore
, we have to save the
life
 of these
animals
instead
 of
jeopradizing
Correct your spelling
jeopardising
 their
life
. Regarding medical
experiments
 on some
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
, their anatomic structure is not like
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
humans
Change preposition
of humans
show examples
.
Consequently
, there is a chance to risk human
life
 because most of these
experiments
 are done on
animals
 in order to save people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Hence
, It's worthless to endanger
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 for the sake of
humans
 as it's not
helpful
Rephrase
as helpful
show examples
 as people think.
On the other hand
, there are other approaches which can be used in some
experimentations
Replace the word
experiments
show examples
.
For Example
, Advancement in Technology paved the way for that.
This
 is because technology can give an accurate investigation and explanation
such
 as using X-rays
for example
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 considered one of the best ways to detect disorders
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our bodies.
Hence
, we can even use new medicine in
disesed
Correct your spelling
diseased
disease
 organs without any drawbacks. It is
also
 interesting to note that a lot of vaccines are not used on
animals
 as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned before because our organs are totally different from
animals
. In a nutshell,
While
 a lot of
animals
 are widely used for
experiments
 in order to save human
life
, It's not justified because of the aforementioned reasons.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and purpose of the essay. Consider including a thesis statement.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and strive for more precise word choice.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar mistakes to improve clarity and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: