Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having balanced diet is more important. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #exercise #health #diet

People

have different views about whether the best key to good

health

is physical activities or healthy meals.

Although

it can be argued that exercising plays an important role in

people

health

, I believe that having a balanced diet is a much better choice for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

To begin

with, regular

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

will bring a large number of benefits for

people

. The top

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

is that it will help them achieve a disease-free life.

This

can be explained by the fact that nowadays, most

people

tend to spend too much time sitting in front of the computer to study or work and

this

leads to a large number of

health

problems for them

such

headache

Fix the agreement mistake

headaches

show examples

, blood pressure.

However

, fortunately, they

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

received many encouragements from their relatives so their

health

condition improves significantly another good point of

this

method is that working out strengthens our bones, which may reduce the risk of osteoporosis at a later age. To illustrate, many experts

advice

Replace the word

advise

show examples

you to take calcium supplements followed by some physical activities

such

as jogging,

skipping

Correct word choice

or skipping

show examples

rope.

Nevertheless

, I would agree that having

a healthy meals

Correct the article-noun agreement

a healthy meal

healthy meals

show examples

is the best way for

people

health

. The first one is that it will be able to reduce the risk of having non-communicable diseases

such

as heart attack, malignancies extras.

Moreover

this

not only helps them reduce diseases but

also

has

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to boost our immune system.

In addition

, many researchers give evidence that

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

junk foods and snacks with fewer nutrients are vulnerable to

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

such

as cancer,

high

Correct word choice

and high

show examples

blood pressure.

For instance

, my uncle used to suffer from high blood pressure and

according to

doctor’s

Correct article usage

the doctor’s

show examples

advice he started

eat

Fix the infinitive

to eat

show examples

healthy meals and now he's

get

Wrong verb form

gotten

show examples

over

this

problem. In conclusion,

although

exercising may be more beneficial for

people

, it seems to me that having a balanced diet is a much better option for them.

Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be strengthened. The essay lacks a clear thesis statement.

logical structure

The reasoning is logical, but the introduction and conclusion need to be improved for a more cohesive structure.

task achievement

The response is mostly complete, but the essay lacks clear examples and specific details to support the points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having balanced diet is more important. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some people think that because children find subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?