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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows information about carbon dioxide emissions for popular private jets

The table shows information about carbon dioxide emissions for popular private jets
The table gives information about how much
amount
Use synonyms
 of gallons of
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel
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, pounds, and
flight
Fix the agreement mistake
flights
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 per hour spent in famous several types of private
aircratf
Correct your spelling
aircraft
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Gulfstream has the biggest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 (
Ibs
Use synonyms
)
while
Linking Words
 it shares the same flight cost with two other types,
Linking Words
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
 to Learjet 60 and Hawker 400XP.
Firstly
Linking Words
, regarding the type of jets spending 6,750 in
Add an article
the dollar
a dollar
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dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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, Gulfstream brings out the biggest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 with 10,078 (
Ibs
Use synonyms
)
while
Linking Words
 Gulfstream 550 releases 8,342 (
Ibs
Use synonyms
) of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
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, and Challenger 605 has the smallest
amount
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 of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
brought
Wrong verb form
brings
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 among the two which is 6,180 (
Ibs
Use synonyms
).
Next,
Linking Words
in the category of the kind of aircraft expending 4,500 in
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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, Learjet 60
reveales
Correct your spelling
reveals
revealed
 the biggest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 with 4,613, followed by Cessna Citation XLS with a difference of 111 (
Ibs
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) with 4,502 (
Ibs
Use synonyms
), and the
last
Linking Words
 is Hawker 800XP with 4,149.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Hawker 400XP, Beechet 400, and Cessna CJ ii spend the same flight expenditure (2,700 in
dollar
Add an article
the dollar
a dollar
show examples
) but has
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of pounds of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 with 4,149, 4,017,
adn
Correct your spelling
and
 3,002 (
Ibs
Use synonyms
) respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, carbon, dioxide, ibs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
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