A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Title:
Success
Vs
Money
In
this
time, the richest
people
are identified as the most successful
people
in the society. The
money
is used as tool to measure the
success
of the
people
. We cant completely disagree on
this
, beacuse the whole education system revolves around
this
Philosophy. But in my view, i differ from using the
money
as the tool and would like to consider the purpose or the goal of the individual to measure the
success
. The person who dedicated his major life to attain his goal are the successful person and
money
is always the by
product
of attaining the goal successfully.
For example
, the entrepreneurs are focused on attaining their vision to build their successful
product
where the revenue is the by
product
of it. There is always big difference between the
people
who inherited wealth vs the
people
who built everthing from scatch. You can take away everything from the person who built from scratch and in most of the times, he would able to build it back. Conclusion: In conclusion, i strongly believe the most successful
people
are the
people
who attained their goals successfully and
money
is just the by
product
.
Also
, we should not use
money
as the tool to measure the
success
.
Submitted by pradeepadi88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical order of ideas.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: