IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010
#consumers #expenditure #cell #phone #fixed-line #services #america
The graph below illustrates the money allocated annually on Cell phone communication, National and International
fixed-line
 and
services
 for a certain country over a 10-year period. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be noticed from the graph,/
Overall
, the for Cell phone
services
 had a significant rise. Meanwhile, National
fixed-line
 figures dropped sharply. In 2001, standing at 700$, the spending on National
fixed-line
services
 tripled the money for mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and International
fixed-line
 ones (
services
) at 200$ and 250$ respectively. Over the 2 years,
whereas
 the expenditure for International
fixed-line
services
 increased slightly, the expense for communicating by handheld devices, which was the lowest at
starting
Add an article
the starting
show examples
 point, surpassed
International
Correct article usage
the International
show examples
 landline at 330$ in 2003. In the following years, there was a remarkable climb in the amount of money for Cell phones and it surpassed local
landlines
Change the noun form
landline
show examples
services
 at 550 before rocketing up to 750$ in 2010.
On the other hand
,
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
fixed-line
 dropped 300 dollars from the highest down to 400$
at the end
 of the given period. Strikingly,
although
 a slight fluctuation during the first three years, the budget for International
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
remained almost [[unchanged (adj) / stable] from 2001 to 2010 at 300$.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words fixed-line, services with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: