IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

It is better to live in a big city than a small town. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #town
Migration to Metropolitan cities
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not uncommon around the globe. There are people who argue that big cities are better to live
comparing
Wrong verb form
in compared
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 to small towns. I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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tend to agree
to
Change preposition
with
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this
 argument which I will explain in
this
 essay. In modern day society, (In
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
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 society, education has
became
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become
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 vital
of
Change preposition
in
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 every children’s life, In
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
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 society, it is essential for the child to be educated in school, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 run by the government.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the task. You clearly express your agreement with the argument that big cities are better to live in compared to small towns. However, your ideas lack depth and clarity. To improve your score in this criterion, try to provide more specific examples and develop your points with more detail and analysis.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion. There is a logical structure to your essay and your ideas flow coherently. However, you could improve in the following areas: 1) Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader; 2) Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively; 3) Make sure that your main points are well-supported with evidence and examples.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is quite limited and lacks variety. To improve your score in this criterion, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and use more precise and specific terms when expressing your ideas. Additionally, make sure to use collocations and idiomatic expressions appropriately to enhance your language use.
grammatical range
There are several noticeable grammatical errors throughout your essay. To improve your score in this criterion, focus on the following: 1) Use accurate verb tenses and sentence structures; 2) Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb forms; 3) Review your use of articles, prepositions, and pronouns; 4) Proofread your essay carefully to identify and correct any errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • metropolitan
  • rural
  • cost of living
  • stress levels
  • unemployment rate
  • specialized fields
  • closer-knit community
  • cultural diversity
  • culinary experiences
  • recreational facilities
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • pollution
  • overall well-being
  • social interactions
  • sense of community
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