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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are best at or find most interesting. discuss both views and give your own opinion

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There are a number of individuals who feel that teenagers should focus on every subject in school, including ones they aren't particularly interested in.
On the other hand
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, another citizen believes that youngsters should pay attention to the area of study that embodies their talents. I am going to scrutinize both aspects in
further
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 paragraphs before forming an opinion in the
last
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.
To begin
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 with, on the one side of the coin, there are many reasonable explanations to support why young adults should participate in every study the school system has to offer. Indeed, most parents want their children to be able to extend their options in
life
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.
Also
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, considering that at
this
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 age young individuals struggle to figure out their identity and what they want in
life
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.
This
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 basically means that young individuals can often have a change of hearts in later years, so in order for them to be able to be confident about their career paths, or at the least if they ever do need to change their field of studies, they will be qualified to apply.
In addition
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, it allows students to attain basic knowledge of various studies that may become of use later in
life
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.
However
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, on the other flip side of the coin, having the luxury to distribute time doing things that they are actually good at ,and being able to take it to another level in
life
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 would
also
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 bring countless opportunities.
For example
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, if an individual has a gift for creating art and chooses to distribute their time in developing their gift. It should be noted that in the process of improving their skill, they
also
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 got more opportunities to be recognised compared to fellow students who study in the modern educational system.
Moreover
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, spending time in their field could
also
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 improve their decision-making skills .
To conclude
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, I believe that despite the appeal of being able to advance their skills, it is undeniable that having more options in
life
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 can put students and parents at ease.

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, but they could be more engaging and impactful. Consider using attention-grabbing opening lines and summarizing your main points effectively in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have presented both views and discussed the reasons behind them. However, your analysis could be more detailed and supported with specific examples or evidence.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate, but you could vary your word choice and use more advanced vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but pay attention to sentence structure and ensure proper agreement between subjects and verbs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentrate
  • school subjects
  • enjoy
  • focus
  • best at
  • interesting
  • benefits
  • well-rounded
  • education
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • discover
  • interests
  • talents
  • depth of knowledge
  • specialization
  • motivation
  • engagement
  • career paths
  • balanced approach
  • foundation
  • individual strengths
  • passions
  • opinion
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