some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour,while others say the amount of time children spend watching TV influences their behaviour. discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #children #tv #influences #behaviour #amount #time

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there has been controversy whether about the content of

shows impacts

children

more or the time which spending on it. From my perspective, I agree with the first statement and I will discuss both points of view in the following paragraphs. On the one side of the argument, television media has become a popular choice of time spent among adults

as well as

children

. With no control over family members or working parents,

children

get addicted to shows and do not realize the amount of hours they sit in front of the

In other words

, the more

children

pay heed to

entertainment shows, the more they stay away from studying.

hence

it leads to lower marks and weakness.

Therefore

, parents should lend a hand and control their

children

's daily time spent on media.

On the other hand

, it is

also

true that

medium

also

brings good pieces of information and it is a person's responsibility to choose what is best for them. Meanwhile, individuals as a child can not decide on the usefulness of content and again it is on the parent's shoulders to guide their kids to choose the right medium not only for their personal life but

also

in some cases it has effects on

children

's education. scientific studies,

for instance

, have shown that pupils in bilingual schools who watch

educational programs

such

as YouTube can speak a different language compared to other students.

thus

, parents have to be very careful

while

leaving

children

alone at home. In conclusion, it seems to me and I believe the medium influences

children

's behaviour and in

this

way, the elderly family members can observe and encourage them to do physical activities

instead

Submitted by sh.sharifpour79 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and use linking words to improve coherence.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary by using more varied and advanced words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Influence
Behaviour
Attitudes
World-view
Exposure
Aggression
Emotional impact
Empathy
Materialistic
Unrealistic expectations
Dissatisfaction
Physical activity
Health issues
Social interactions
Academic performance
Social skills
Social isolation
Responsible monitoring
Healthy development

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some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour,while others say the amount of time children spend watching TV influences their behaviour. discuss both view and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional foods while others believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people opine that increasing office hour is a reason for many social and personal problems and that is why it should be reduced to 35 hours in a week. What are the advantages and disadvantages of reducing the working week to 35 hours?

Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that public libraries are no longer necessary, while others believe that public libraries still perform useful functions.Discuss both views and give your opinion.