some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour,while others say the amount of time children spend watching TV influences their behaviour. discuss both view and give your opinion.

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there has been controversy whether about the content of

Use synonyms

shows impacts

children

Use synonyms

more or the time which spending on it. From my perspective, I agree with the first statement and I will discuss both points of view in the following paragraphs. On the one side of the argument, television media has become a popular choice of time spent among adults

as well as

Linking Words

children

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. With no control over family members or working parents,

children

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get addicted to shows and do not realize the amount of hours they sit in front of the

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, the more

children

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pay heed to

Use synonyms

entertainment shows, the more they stay away from studying.

hence

Linking Words

it leads to lower marks and weakness.

Therefore

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, parents should lend a hand and control their

children

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's daily time spent on media.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

true that

Use synonyms

medium

also

Linking Words

brings good pieces of information and it is a person's responsibility to choose what is best for them. Meanwhile, individuals as a child can not decide on the usefulness of content and again it is on the parent's shoulders to guide their kids to choose the right medium not only for their personal life but

also

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in some cases it has effects on

children

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's education. scientific studies,

for instance

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, have shown that pupils in bilingual schools who watch

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educational programs

such

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as YouTube can speak a different language compared to other students.

thus

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, parents have to be very careful

while

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leaving

children

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alone at home. In conclusion, it seems to me and I believe the medium influences

children

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's behaviour and in

this

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way, the elderly family members can observe and encourage them to do physical activities

instead

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sh.sharifpour79Tue Nov 07 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and use linking words to improve coherence.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary by using more varied and advanced words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Influence
Behaviour
Attitudes
World-view
Exposure
Aggression
Emotional impact
Empathy
Materialistic
Unrealistic expectations
Dissatisfaction
Physical activity
Health issues
Social interactions
Academic performance
Social skills
Social isolation
Responsible monitoring
Healthy development

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some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour,while others say the amount of time children spend watching TV influences their behaviour. discuss both view and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The world’s air pollution levels are rising year on year. What are the most pressing causes and effects of this disturbing trend?

Many people from rural areas moving to the cities. What problem can this cause? What can be solutions?

Today children are spending much more time watching TV compared to the past. Why do you think this happens? Is this a positive or a negative change?

Write advantages and disadvantages of child labour