some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour,while others say the amount of time children spend watching TV influences their behaviour. discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #children #tv #influences #behaviour #amount #time

there has been controversy whether about the content of

shows impacts

children

more or the time which spending on it. From my perspective, I agree with the first statement and I will discuss both points of view in the following paragraphs. On the one side of the argument, television media has become a popular choice of time spent among adults

as well as

children

. With no control over family members or working parents,

children

get addicted to shows and do not realize the amount of hours they sit in front of the

In other words

, the more

children

pay heed to

entertainment shows, the more they stay away from studying.

hence

it leads to lower marks and weakness.

Therefore

, parents should lend a hand and control their

children

's daily time spent on media.

On the other hand

, it is

also

true that

medium

also

brings good pieces of information and it is a person's responsibility to choose what is best for them. Meanwhile, individuals as a child can not decide on the usefulness of content and again it is on the parent's shoulders to guide their kids to choose the right medium not only for their personal life but

also

in some cases it has effects on

children

's education. scientific studies,

for instance

, have shown that pupils in bilingual schools who watch

educational programs

such

as YouTube can speak a different language compared to other students.

thus

, parents have to be very careful

while

leaving

children

alone at home. In conclusion, it seems to me and I believe the medium influences

children

's behaviour and in

this

way, the elderly family members can observe and encourage them to do physical activities

instead

Submitted by sh.sharifpour79 on Tue Nov 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and use linking words to improve coherence.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary by using more varied and advanced words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative? #cultures #countries #world
Majority of cultures are becoming alike throughout the world. There are several reasons for it. In this essay I will explain why cheap air travel, and developing tourism are the reasons for this trend and, in my opinion, it is a positive trend because it promotes a peaceful multicultural environment.
4.5
band
Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your house flat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter: • explain the reason for the noise • apologies for the noise • describe what action you will take
I am writing this letter regarding the noise complaint you have made.First of all I apologise for this unpresented experience.
7
band
Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, while others think that people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this day and age, it is believed by some that dangerous sports should be prohibited while others argue that everyone can choose any sport to play. Although extreme sports may have some dangers, I am firmly convinced that people should have freedom in selecting sporting activities.
7
band
In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. To what extend do you agree or disagree
As modern technology has developed, many people think it is unnecessary for us to gain nutrients, medicines and clothing from any other creatures. I agree that now we do not have to hunt for the purpose of survival, but we still need food and medicines from domestic fowls and cattle in a bid to keep a nutritious diet.
4.5
band
Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some senior citizens try to move their residence area after retirement because of personal reasons. However, others believe that it is good to remain in their hometown when people get older. I personally claim that changing the environment by moving to other society could be helpful to refresh their mind in terms of having new experiences and finding an appropriate place of their own.

some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour,while others say the amount of time children spend watching TV influences their behaviour. discuss both view and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative? #cultures #countries #world

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your house flat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter: • explain the reason for the noise • apologies for the noise • describe what action you will take

Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, while others think that people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.