IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Revenue Sources and expenditure of a USA Charity in one year 2006

#revenue #sources #expenditure #usa #charity #year
The pie charts demonstrate the partition of income and outcome for
children’s
Correct article usage
the children’s
show examples
 non-profit movement in the USA in 2016. Generally, the amount of spending money is smaller, which is $53, 224, 896 than the earning, $53, 561, 580, or
in other words
, the return is $336, 684. The majority source for
this
 act was food, where people tended to give their food, reaching 86. 6%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all the revenue in 2016. It was followed by donations from the community around 10. 4%. The charity
also
 had profit from their program until 2. 3%. The grants from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and revenue from investment contributed a similar amount, 0. 2%. And several incomes that were combined into one, 0. 4%.
Besides
, the expenditures of charity are only divided into three categories, that are: program services, fundraising, and management &
general
Correct word choice
and general
show examples
. Just like the main name of
this
 chart, the act for voluntary became
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 paying out for, up to 95. 8%. The other types were appealing funds with 2. 6% and management & common things,
1
Change preposition
with 1
show examples
. 8%.
Submitted by iftitakhulzakiyah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not clearly stated. Make sure to explicitly state the purpose of the essay and summarize the main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: