Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is more useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #television #education #entertainment

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It is believed by some that

television

Use synonyms

is useful for educational

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

while

Linking Words

others think that it is the better source of entertainment.

This

Linking Words

essay argues that despite the fact that

television

Use synonyms

educate

Change the verb form

educates

show examples

children

Use synonyms

by improving their literacy

skills

Use synonyms

, I believe that it helps

children

Use synonyms

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

to relax their mind by entertaining them. Enhancement of literacy

skills

Use synonyms

children

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by watching

television

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is the major reason

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

why people believe that it is

useful

Add an article

a useful

show examples

tool for education. When

children

Use synonyms

watch various programs of their choice, they come across various vocabulary words and try to use them in their real life either verbally or in written form.

For instance

Linking Words

, during the learning language process, particularly in the early years, parents encourage their

children

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to watch cartoons as they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will enrich their linguistic

skills

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However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is a short-sighted view and

television

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does not teach the significance of real educational values. When it comes to entertainment,

television

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is the best way for

children

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to get mental relaxation.

This

Linking Words

is because, they spend long hours in school that loads their mind with numerous thoughts, but after coming back home, when they watch cartoons or things that interest them, it reduces their stress. A particularly good example here is Tom and Jerry cartoons that

displays

Change the verb form

display

show examples

interesting visuals and advanced animations, when

children

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watch it, it

distract

Change the verb form

distracts

show examples

their

min

Correct your spelling

minds

show examples

and they feel content.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, I believe that providing entertainment to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young minds is the main purpose of

television

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. In conclusion, I believe that

television

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is more successful in entertaining

children

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because it

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

calms their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

than

enhancing

Wrong verb form

enhances

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and

enriching

Wrong verb form

enriches

show examples

their language

skills

Use synonyms

Submitted by meghnabawa91 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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task response

Be sure to clearly address both views in the essay and provide a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear overall structure with logical progression of ideas.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate more depth of understanding.

grammatical range

Pay more attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

educational programs
informative documentaries
interactive learning
entertaining content
reality shows
cartoons
intellectual development
parental guidance
screen time
creative thinking
educational potential

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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