Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is more useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is believed by some that
television
is useful for educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
,
while
others think that it is the better source of entertainment.
This
essay argues that despite the fact that
television
educate
Change the verb form
educates
show examples
children
by improving their literacy
skills
, I believe that it helps
children
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
to relax their mind by entertaining them. Enhancement of literacy
skills
of
children
by watching
television
is the major reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why people believe that it is
useful
Add an article
a useful
show examples
tool for education. When
children
watch various programs of their choice, they come across various vocabulary words and try to use them in their real life either verbally or in written form.
For instance
, during the learning language process, particularly in the early years, parents encourage their
children
to watch cartoons as they
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will enrich their linguistic
skills
.
However
,
this
is a short-sighted view and
television
does not teach the significance of real educational values. When it comes to entertainment,
television
is the best way for
children
to get mental relaxation.
This
is because, they spend long hours in school that loads their mind with numerous thoughts, but after coming back home, when they watch cartoons or things that interest them, it reduces their stress. A particularly good example here is Tom and Jerry cartoons that
displays
Change the verb form
display
show examples
interesting visuals and advanced animations, when
children
watch it, it
distract
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distracts
show examples
their
min
Correct your spelling
minds
show examples
and they feel content.
For
this
reason, I believe that providing entertainment to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young minds is the main purpose of
television
. In conclusion, I believe that
television
is more successful in entertaining
children
because it
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
calms their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
than
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhances
show examples
and
enriching
Wrong verb form
enriches
show examples
their language
skills
.
Submitted by meghnabawa91 on

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task response
Be sure to clearly address both views in the essay and provide a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear overall structure with logical progression of ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate more depth of understanding.
grammatical range
Pay more attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • informative documentaries
  • interactive learning
  • entertaining content
  • reality shows
  • cartoons
  • intellectual development
  • parental guidance
  • screen time
  • creative thinking
  • educational potential
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