online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. do you think it is a positive or negative development

#stores #development

The development of technology has changed and influenced the world in many different aspects. One of the sectors that has received the impact is the commerce sector, where online shopping

are

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starting to replace offline stores. In my

oppinion

Correct your spelling

opinion

this

is a positive development because is very beneficial for the human population because it gives more

accesibility

Correct your spelling

accessibility

, better price

offer

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offers

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, and

also

helps the country's economy. One of the most common

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

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customers

encountered

Wrong verb form

encounter

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while

shopping is when the item or the size of the product is not available in that particular shop, which makes it not convenient for them.

As a result

, internet shopping has become an alternative for

this

since one can buy a wider selection of products

that

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are

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not available in the city where they live

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apply

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from

the

Correct article usage

apply

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other parts of the world.

In addition

, most of the items that are sold online are usually cheaper since they do not have to pay for

rents

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rent

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, lesser

labor

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labour

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fee

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fees

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, and many more.

This

is the reason why many people tend to

choose

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choose to

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buy things through the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

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rather than going to markets.

Moreover

to start

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starting

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an online store is less complicated than opening an actual store in

Correct article usage

a malls

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malls

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mall

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. Rather than renting a place to sell your product, you can just use your home as a storage to keep your selling items which saves a lot of money.

This

will encourage younger generations to become entrepreneurs where they can create a business with a small amount of money.

Therefore

this

will increase the employment rate, which will help the country's economy. In conclusion, I believe opening an online shop has

given

Verb problem

had

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a lot of good impact

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humanity and the economy as well.

Although

it may disadvantage street vendors, it is a challenge for them to be more innovative.

Submitted by gabriellaamadeaa on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and maintain a consistent argument across the essay to increase the coherence of your work. Try using linking words and topic sentences more effectively to this end.

task achievement

Fully develop your main points by providing more detailed examples and data to reinforce your argument. Make sure that you address all parts of the task thoroughly and showcase a comprehensive coverage of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

online shopping
shopping in stores
convenience
accessibility
wide variety
comparative pricing
crowds
queues
price comparison
returning and exchanging items
local businesses
personal interaction
sensory experience

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online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. do you think it is a positive or negative development

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

School students should have no access to the Internet. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your opinion.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case ? What can be done to attract more local people to these museums ?

Some people believed that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Others believe that outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.