online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. do you think it is a positive or negative development

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The development of technology has changed and influenced the world in many different aspects. One of the sectors that has received the impact is the commerce sector, where online shopping
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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starting to replace offline stores. In my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion

If you don’t want oppinion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a positive development because is very beneficial for the human population because it gives more
accesibility
Correct your spelling
accessibility

If you don’t want accesibility to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, better price
offer
Fix the agreement mistake
offers

It seems that offer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helps the country's economy. One of the most common
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems

The singular countable noun problem follows the quantifier One, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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customers
encountered
Wrong verb form
encounter

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb encountered. Consider changing it.

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while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

shopping is when the item or the size of the product is not available in that particular shop, which makes it not convenient for them.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, internet shopping has become an alternative for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

since one can buy a wider selection of products
that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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not available in the city where they live
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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from
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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other parts of the world.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most of the items that are sold online are usually cheaper since they do not have to pay for
rents
Fix the agreement mistake
rent

It seems that rents may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, lesser
labor
Change the spelling
labour

The spelling of labor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees

It seems that fee may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, and many more.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is the reason why many people tend to
choose
Add the particle
choose to

It appears that the verb buy should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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buy things through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet

The word internet should be capitalized in this context.

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rather than going to markets.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
to start
Change the verb form
starting

To start doesn’t seem to work here.

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an online store is less complicated than opening an actual store in
Correct article usage
a malls
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Correct article usage
a malls

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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malls
Fix the agreement mistake
mall
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. Rather than renting a place to sell your product, you can just use your home as a storage to keep your selling items which saves a lot of money.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will encourage younger generations to become entrepreneurs where they can create a business with a small amount of money.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will increase the employment rate, which will help the country's economy. In conclusion, I believe opening an online shop has
given
Verb problem
had

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a lot of good impact
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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humanity and the economy as well.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it may disadvantage street vendors, it is a challenge for them to be more innovative.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and maintain a consistent argument across the essay to increase the coherence of your work. Try using linking words and topic sentences more effectively to this end.
task achievement
Fully develop your main points by providing more detailed examples and data to reinforce your argument. Make sure that you address all parts of the task thoroughly and showcase a comprehensive coverage of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online shopping
  • shopping in stores
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • wide variety
  • comparative pricing
  • crowds
  • queues
  • price comparison
  • returning and exchanging items
  • local businesses
  • personal interaction
  • sensory experience
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