online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. do you think it is a positive or negative development

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The development of technology has changed and influenced the world in many different aspects. One of the sectors that has received the impact is the commerce sector, where online shopping

are

Change the verb form

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starting to replace offline stores. In my

oppinion

Correct your spelling

opinion

this

Linking Words

is a positive development because is very beneficial for the human population because it gives more

accesibility

Correct your spelling

accessibility

, better price

offer

Fix the agreement mistake

offers

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, and

also

Linking Words

helps the country's economy. One of the most common

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

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customers

encountered

Wrong verb form

encounter

show examples

while

Linking Words

shopping is when the item or the size of the product is not available in that particular shop, which makes it not convenient for them.

As a result

Linking Words

, internet shopping has become an alternative for

this

Linking Words

since one can buy a wider selection of products

that

Linking Words

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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not available in the city where they live

Change preposition

apply

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from

the

Correct article usage

apply

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other parts of the world.

In addition

Linking Words

, most of the items that are sold online are usually cheaper since they do not have to pay for

rents

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rent

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, lesser

labor

Change the spelling

labour

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fee

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fees

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, and many more.

This

Linking Words

is the reason why many people tend to

choose

Add the particle

choose to

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buy things through the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

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rather than going to markets.

Moreover

Linking Words

to start

Change the verb form

starting

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an online store is less complicated than opening an actual store in

Correct article usage

a malls

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malls

Fix the agreement mistake

mall

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. Rather than renting a place to sell your product, you can just use your home as a storage to keep your selling items which saves a lot of money.

This

Linking Words

will encourage younger generations to become entrepreneurs where they can create a business with a small amount of money.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will increase the employment rate, which will help the country's economy. In conclusion, I believe opening an online shop has

given

Verb problem

had

show examples

a lot of good impact

Change preposition

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humanity and the economy as well.

Although

Linking Words

it may disadvantage street vendors, it is a challenge for them to be more innovative.

Submitted by gabriellaamadeaa on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and maintain a consistent argument across the essay to increase the coherence of your work. Try using linking words and topic sentences more effectively to this end.

task achievement

Fully develop your main points by providing more detailed examples and data to reinforce your argument. Make sure that you address all parts of the task thoroughly and showcase a comprehensive coverage of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

online shopping
shopping in stores
convenience
accessibility
wide variety
comparative pricing
crowds
queues
price comparison
returning and exchanging items
local businesses
personal interaction
sensory experience

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online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. do you think it is a positive or negative development

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen or pencil. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?