Machines are taking over more and more jobs previously done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.
.
Artificial intelligence impacts hugely on
people
right now. Robots
and computers are taking over more and more work, which was earlier made by mankind. In this
essay, I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of this
statement and provide my opinion.
On the one hand, replacing humans with pieces of equipment has several benefits. Robots
can work without breaks and do their tasks properly. For instance
, in China, factory workers utilize automatons to increase the quality of goods, and robots
produce more goods for customers than people
do. Additionally
, engines cannot make mistakes, which surely guarantees the safety and reliability of commodities. Thus
, the company saves a lot of money and manufactures wares of higher quality.
.
On the other hand
, the unemployment of nations is rising every day. Therefore
, some spheres of professions have become irrelevant, and that is
why some folks lose their qualification. Moreover
, robots
cannot be made without humans and do not have any creativity. To give a clear example, home cleaners are substituted by robot vacuum cleaners, and drivers are displaced by electric cars. So people
have to change their occupation and get another higher degree, which leads negatively to their budget and their state of life.
To sum up
,although
there are benefits of using machines such
as the growth of goods’ quality and Correct article usage
the creating
creating
Replace the word
creation
wares
Change preposition
of wares
quickly
, it Rephrase
apply
also
has a high number of drawbacks. Hence
, I believe that replacing people
with pieces of equipment is disadvantageous as many humans struggle because of these circumstances.Submitted by aibiikenurlanova414 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay structure could be improved by creating a more distinct separation between introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions. Paragraphing inaccurately portrays the logical flow of the argument.
Task Achievement
Task achievement is only partially satisfied. The essay introduces the topic and provides some advantages and disadvantages, but the depth of explanation and development of ideas is lacking. Moreover, the personal opinion is stated, though it could be better supported and more integrated throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
The lexical range is limited; more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures could be employed to better express nuances and complexity of ideas. Avoid repetition of words and phrases to enhance the overall readability of the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors present. To improve your grammatical range, focus on correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Consistent accuracy is needed for a higher band score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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